A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my girlfriend have been having sex for 6 months now and recentley she had to go get the morning after pill due to a split in a condom.i now find it hard to trust a condom in case it splits again, i know the chances are very low but i am worried if it does. me and her want her to go on the pill but her mum wont let her so if you have any advice on what to do please write in a answer.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): Like other readers have said. There are many different ways of getting contraception from your GP, Brook Clinics or Family Planning which does not ever need parental permission- the government at least have common sense in that respect even if her mum doesn't! Anyhow I suspect that either your Girlfriends mum isn't entirely up to speed or is in denial, what ever the cause it should not impact upon you or your Girlfriend in such a way. If your Girlfriend becomes pregnant then at the end on the day you and her are the parents and are held accountable for your actions and given the responsibility for the baby not her therefore you should also be allowed to be responsible for deciding what actions you should make to prevent such a situation. and if you are not "allowed" it then take any action to sieze it as it is your right.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): So her mom knows you two are sexually active and still says no to the birth control?
Try this:
Let her mom say "no." Leave her mom alone about the whole thing for a month or two, and then come back nervously telling her that her daughter is already a month pregnant.
After her mom goes totally ape-sh*t with worry for a week or two, let her know the truth. She'll probably be singing a different tune about the birth control pills after that.
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (1 February 2008):
 its up to her and you not her mother!
ANyway your from the UK so go to a brook centre or a family planning clinic and maybe consider something like implanon -- a contraceptive rod that goes in the upper arm and prevents pregnancy in 3 ways, its doesn't build the lining of the uterus, no egg is released and cervical mucas is thickened...
there are many options besides condoms. both of you just say your jst going for a date or something, find out when and where your local family planning clinics are and go =] x
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Does her Mom know that she is sexually active? Or is your girlfriend hiding this fact from her Mom and asking to go on the pill to "regulate her period"? In any event, the fact that you have been having sex for six months warrants an honest discussion with the both of you and her Mom. Is you girlfriend under 16? That may be the thing that is preventing your girlfriend from going ahead without her Mom's permission. I'm sure that if she was informed about your sexual relationship, she would have the two of you at the clinic tomorrow.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (31 January 2008):
 If your g/f is over the legal age of consent which is 16, there is nothing that her mother can do to stop her. What would her mother prefer, a teen pregnancy? Condoms are reliable however, what happened with you is rare. It's good that you both have enough common sense to look at contraception. I hope it all works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I can't help thinking that regardless of what her mother thinks, it's her choice. I can't understand why her mother wouldn't want her to be safe, and not have to go through the trauma of an abortion, or worse. It seems the same with my mother, but that is simply because she loathes the idea of me in a sexual relationship. It's unbelievably irritating.
I think you should go to her, both of you, and sit down with her and tell her why it's best for your girl to go on the pill. Her mother has to deal with the fact that she's not a child any more, and whether she likes it or not, she's having sex. Be mature about this, and explain why it's necessary. Yeah, I know, it'll be a bit awkward, but if you're mature enough to have sex, you need to be mature enough to deal with the consequences.
Oh, by the way, always use a condom! And hope to Hell it doesn't split lol - which it probably won't ok. Keep telling yourself that. Or you could use female condoms...
Good luck :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): You don't say how old your girlfriend is, and I hope she's of a legal age, but she doesn't legally or otherwise need her mother's permission to go on the pill. If you have a Brook Advisory Centre near you, try them first - I understand they dish out contraceptives free of charge to young people - and they won't be 'unsafe' ones either. Otherwise, get your girl to see her GP for the pill.
In all the years I used them, I only ever had a condom split on me once, an experience I was in no rush to repeat, as it was rather like being thwacked with a rubber band in the most sensitive of places.
Her mother may think that if her daughter isn't using contraception it will make her think twice about having sex. Or she could be a strict Catholic in which case it would go against her religious principles, misguided though they may be, in my opinion, in this day and age of very serious sexually transmitted diseases.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 If she cannot convince her mom , she could go to the GP and get it herself. The condom split is a rare one. Maybe you need to use a good brand.There are faked and inferior brands in the market.
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A
female
reader, Miss Stella +, writes (31 January 2008):
Does her mom want to be a grandmother or something.. Always use a condom regardless. But it is her body and if she wants to go on the pill, she should go to her doctor, there are other forms of birth control also.
Just make the appointment. It's the responsible thing to do. It's really not up to her mom...
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