A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do resolve an issue when the girl I was seeing wants to go back to a guy who has spurned her 4 times previously (that's how we met) The guy owns the home she rents and she says it's complicated. I offer to move her out but she is hesitant and tell me she has strong feelings for me but wants to try one more time with him.She has a son who adores me and doeesn't like the guy who keeps hurting her. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (15 February 2011):
 The heart wants what the heart wants. You cannot change her mind. She must come to the realization that you are the better choice. If she does not, it is her loss, but it is also her choice. IMHO, the best thing you can do is back off a bit. If you push the issue you will drive her further away.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): It isn't your issue to resolve. An issue within your power to resolve is why you make self sabotaging relationship selections and why you persist at staying in them. It could be low self esteem on your part or fear of a real commitment. Selecting relationships from the outset that have a built in mechanism to fail may validate an inherent negative belief you have about relationships in general and your choice of partners are more about the self fulfilling prophecy than anything else.
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