A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm probably being childish. I'm sure I am so I would like some advice from you guys... My boyfriend is a great guy, and I am in love with him. We used to be best friends, and confide on each other even the most intimate stuff. Now that we are together, I saw him talking with a girl who is his friend from a while, they used to go to concerts together and she sings in a band. When we used to be friends he told me he had a crush on her. Now I just read him talking to her, and she was asking him "is there anything else you want to get out of your chest?" and it bothers me..that they talk about US, or our relationship or our plans. What can I do to overcome this? It bothers me when I see him talking about our relationship to others, specially girls...specially if he had a crush on them before. Should I be worried? How can I overcome that dumb jealousy?
View related questions:
best friend, crush, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (15 February 2011):
 I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. This is a girl that he admitted he had a crush on in the past, so it's quite possible he still does.
It's one thing to have friends of the other sex, but this is different because at some point, he wanted more then just a friendship with her. How long have you been with your boyfriend? Have you told him about your concerns? If so, what was his response? Also, how much time is he spending with her... how often do they hang out, text, phone, and email each other, etc?
I'm just trying to get a better idea of what's going on here. Usually, one's gut feeling is right, so don't ignore it. Communication is very important, but don't act angry or accusatory, or he won't open up to you.
I look forward to hearing your answers, so we can give you better advice. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): I don't think the way you are feeling is "dumb". Yes, you will have to accept that your boyfriend will talk to other girls. It would be pretty difficult for us to exist in this world if we could not talk to members of the opposite sex at all! But that does not seem to be what you are saying. It's not that he talks to other girls - it's the fact that he talks about your relationship that you dislike.
I can understand that. Your relationship is personal to you, and you probably want to keep some things private. Do you think you could try and explain this to him? Maybe you could tell him that you feel uncomfortable with other people knowing things about your relationship, and you would be more comfortable if you discussed any issues between you yourselves. I think that is a reasonable request to make. Yes, we do sometimes need to talk to other people about things that may be on our mind, but on the whole I think you are being reasonable. Just explain to him how you feel, and hopefully he will try to understand and take your feelings into consideration. Good luck.
...............................
|
