A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:A month ago I got a letter from a female I met in Florida back in 2003. Truth be told,I have always wondered what could have been. I have been invited over. Her family are bending over backwards for me. My problem being,I have a criminal record. It was nearly 30 years ago,but there are several offences. They want me to get a visa so I can have the option of staying longer. I am now a normal guy and wish I could turn the clock back. I really fear that if they find out,she will be put off me and would feel embarrassed. They are not the sort of offences I would be refused entry for,but they may damage any chance of an extension. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): Thank you all...Sorry, I missed out that she has visited me here 5 times. The issue was not the relationship. I never meant I had `nt seen her since we met. I have told her everything and she shrugged it off as being a long ago. Thanks.
A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 My suggestion is contact the embassy and ask them questions about if it would affect your chances. Also tell her honestly about it. I know from experience that when I started seeing my current man he was in a situation which may prevent him from coming here on a working visa, and he was reluctant to tell me. I thought he was playing games with me, stringing me along. Once he told me what his reasons were for not being able to get one I understood and am saving up to go there. I was almost ready to give up on him completely before he told me, so my advice is be honest with her, and then if she still really wants you, it can be worked out together. Good Luck I hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): unless they were major,like firearms and the length of time being considered then you would not likely be refused for a tempory visit,but will definately be raised. I would tell her your concerns before meeting back up with her though.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 Tell her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 You haven't been in contact with her for 8 years and now they want you to stay for a long time? That sounds a bit, um, ambitious? Unrealistic also comes to mind. Don't you have commitments and limitations on your time?
Why not simply go visit for the allotted time and see how things go? Getting an extension might not be necessary if the reunion doesn't fulfill the fantasy.
While you are visiting and catching up, then you can bring up your criminal record and discuss what happened and why it's not something for them to be concerned about. That's probably something that would be better done in person anyway.
I expect you've had to explain the criminal record to others in the past 30 years, so this isn't really any different other than it's in another country.
Step one: see if there's anything left of the old fantasy. Step two: will follow from there.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 September 2011):
 I would look into the Visa thing first, and be honest with her if you have plans for a relationship down the road. I think she has a right to know. Even if it is in your past, it's still a part of who you were/ are today.
If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want to know?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 We all have made mistakes in our lives try and not let it get you down now. As you said you are not that person now. Look in to your options when it comes to your visa before you start worrying. Talk to the american embassy and ask what your chances are of an extension. If they refuse it well then you just have to simply say that you were refused it. You don't need to go in to details with them if you don't want to share your past.
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