A
male
age
30-35,
*azzy
writes:I will try to make this as short as i can...My gf still feels something for the ex...more specifically love...now...it would be normal in a long relationship...but she was with him 4 months only...and wasted a year trying to win him back...and then eventually after that year i came in the picture...the shocking part is that...i am the ex's best friend...well...was...ever since the hook up...we never talked that much to almost nothing... Anyway...the first month and two were great...we were both happy...i ignored her cries for her ex "because it was the first"...but...honestly...it slowly...but surely got the point where...even though i love her...i cannot help but wonder...what good is it?...she loves him not me...its a relationship that i simply detest because i am not loved...i tried everything to make her happy...got her gifts...took her out as much as i could...and now i am out of options... So simply put...i cannot imagine myself 2~3 years later living with her and thinking the same poisoned question "what am i doing here if she doesn't love me?"... We talked about this...and she said she has feelings for me and that she would cry and other bad stuff that she did when her ex left...but i dunno...she might only do that to keep me in order to make her ex jealous...and i hate that...so much... What can i do?...i tried everything...i am at my wits end...we have been together for only 4 months but i knew for a year...hell i coached her through everything since she broke up with him trying to set her straight...but i got caught...any answers?...anyone?
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best friend, broke up, her ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 I'm with the others. Time to let her go.
Not only is she not in love with you but she was rather tactless in the way she made you aware of that.
It might be a good idea, in future, to let female friends help a woman through a difficult break up. That way no one is left wondering about motives and romantic feelings won't develop.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 absolutely you should break up with her. you just happened to me the ex's best mate? makes me think your girl has hand picked you as the one who would hopefully make her ex the most jealous.
your GF is just settling for you coz she can't have him. honey, don't be used. you have given this girl a long enough chance to make a relationship with you. i think the time has come now to get out of this while you still have SOME self esteem left. make yourself free to meet a girl who is emotionally available to you
x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2011):
 Personally as much as you don't want to hear this I think you need to accept that this relationship is never going to work. She loves her ex that much is obvious and it does sound like she might just have got with you to try and make him jealous. My guess is that it hasn't worked but that you have helped her and she is going to stay with you because she doesn't have him. You are her rebound that much is obvious and I think you need to end this now before you get any more deeper and any more hurt. It will be painful now to end it yes I understand that but if you leave it until later down the line it will only get worse. She has made it clear her heart belongs to her ex. I think she needs some time alone and single to get her head straight about what she wants in life. She needs time to get over her ex and she needs to do this alone. Who knows what the future holds. But for now I think the best thing to do is to end things before your own heart gets completely trampled on.
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