A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, so my girlfriend told me yesterday she wants me to start wearing the pants in the relationship. I had no idea what she meant, and when I asked her she didn't really know how to explain it. Can someone here maybe explain it to me?Also, she said she feels like I'm dependant on her, like my life revolves around her. Before her I used to sit at home watching series and gaming, but since I met her I hardly ever do either anymore. Simply because I love spending time with her way more. But still she insists I need to find something else then to pass the time.I have no idea what to do though, advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (26 January 2017):
She's telling you you need a new girlfriend.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2017):
 Find more hobbies, it sounds like before you met her you had a very unhealthy life style where all you done was play games, now all you want to do is be with her. You should try getting out off the house more. Be with friends, take up new hobbies, do more exercise. Surprise your girl, take her for a meal but don't tell her were. Take her on blind dates. Organize a weekend away. Go on a boys night out and let her have time with her friends.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (7 January 2017):
You've been given some excellent advice.
You need to start having a life outside of your relationship. You need to have your own hobbies and friends. You need your own interests and opinions.
You also need to start making decisions within the relationship and not rely on your girlfriend to plan your social lives. Choose the restaurant or the movie sometimes. Suggest you do an activity that neither of you have done before.
Now, I've been out with guys like you before. You don't bring anything to the relationship except your adoration. No ideas, no excitement, nothing new - you're BORING.
Don't be that guy. Try and become somebody interesting.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 January 2017):
 My happiness is heavily dependent on my boyfriend (I can't work yet or go out much), so I get it.However, I also know it's not healthy to have your life revolving around someone else. You need to live individual lives.Watching series and gaming is okay in moderation, but you need to have ambition outside of that. Do you have a job? A hobby? If not, get one of each. You need something going on in your life that isn't just her.If she usually plans dates (or you don't go on any), ask her out and do all of the planning, so she feels you taking charge of some things sometimes. She probably doesn't want you to be bossy, but she wants you to make more decisions (or ask things like dates more) and live your own life, separate from hers.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (7 January 2017):
 Do conversations in your relationship go along lines like this?Her: What shall we do tonight?You: I don't mind. Whatever you want.Her: What shall we eat tonight?You: I don't mind. Whatever you want.I would take her comment to mean she would like you to take more responsibility for your relationship, have more input and be more assertive. Also find interests of your own outside the relationship. (Not sure there is much mileage in gaming and watching TV but that's just MY opinion.) If you spend all your time together, what do you bring to the relationship to talk about?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2017): I tell you something,others will say am wrong but I've been in your shoes before, what will happen if you do ,what she is asking, then she won't like it either,so sorry to say, neither way will please her,good luck you are going to need it
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2017): She means you have to be the one to make the decisions and stop asking her what to do next.Do you ask her when you are on an evening out where to go and what to do?
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (7 January 2017):
 She's telling you in a nice way to be more assertive and to "get a life". She means she doesn't want you to spend your every waking moment thinking of her or being with her but to get out and live and find hobbies/interests/friends. Its a good thing..you should always have a life of your own regardless of if you have a mate. I think she means this to encourage you not to make you feel bad. Take her advice to heart and do something about it. As much as it is nice to be with someone, spending all of your time with someone can make a person feel like they can't breathe. Everyone needs their own space. Good luck~
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