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male
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anonymous
writes: My Girlfriend likes another guy, but i still like her, what do i do?My girlfriend of over 9 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We had the perfect relationship and we were always happy around each other. Then one day out of the blue she says that she wants to "take a brake" then the next day she says its over.She said she broke up with me because she was afriad of getting hurt and she was scared of the close relationshop we had and shared. When she broke up with me she said that she still cared about me and said that we will be together someday. Its been two weeks and I am a total wreck. I miss her and cant go 10 minutes without thinking about her.Now she likes this new guy, this guy is 19 years old, likes to drink and is a high school drop-out. My ex-girlfriend (who is 14 and a freshmen in high school, i am a junior of 16) is the opposite of all those things. My questions are, 1. Do you think maybe shes doing this cause shes still young?2. What are my chances of getting back with her
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2006): the same exact thing happened to me last august -- except we are in our 30s. but the feelings were exactly the same. my boyfriend of one year that I was deeply in love with, and that i thought from the way he looked at me and acted most of the time -- tells me suddenly he 'wants to take a break' and will see me in 2 weeks - while he pursues a new relationship with some chic (totally the opposite of everything he always said he wanted in a woman) that he met on a work gig out of town... that I found for him!
he said he was afraid I'd hurt him, that he wanted to try new experiences.
I think it's that feeling that you are getting too close and this leads to the feeling that will be with that one person your whole life... and questions like, 'is he/she the perfect person for me...'; then you start analyzing the details of the person you love & comparing to other possible dates. and if you are not so experienced in life and dating, these others seem very alluring.
well, i seem like i know what i'm talking about - now - but i went through many, many months of total hell trying to get this guy back in various ways. bottom line is, the best thing to do is let go & get on with your life if you can. if that person does not want you or is not ready, there is nothing you can do to force them. they need to realize that on their own, and the more you hang on & call & all that, the more they take you for granted.
now i've met a wonderful new man only a few days ago and finally am starting to let go. i will never forget my ex because if love is true, it never dies. but i've realized that life is short and there are other fish in the sea -- and all you need to do is find one fish that you like and go with it - rather than hold on to a slippery one.
as they say, 'if it's meant to be, it will happen'.
but now i like my new guy a lot... so who knows what will happen, only time will tell, and i say to you -- let it go and if she loves you, she will come back. if she dated you for 9 months & doesn't love you enough to come back when she's done experimenting, why do you want to be with someone immature or selfish?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2006): I think you should talk to her,and ask her why she likes him.If she is afraid of getting hurt, then why does she like someone who is a drop out, and likes to drink.If you ask me I think that is kind of weired.
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A
female
reader, apexsublime +, writes (8 February 2006):
 I think that she probably [not to be harsh]still liked you, but just didnt want a relationship with you, and so to avoid being mean, she used the "break" as an easy let down. She is also young, so she may just not be ready for such a serious relationship. I do have to say, and as Star News said, she is keeping you on the side, in case she cant get someone else. Even though it's hard, I think you should try to move on, and find someone better.
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A
female
reader, chrissymarie +, writes (7 February 2006):
 these kind of things happen often, to be honest with you i do think she is two young to stay with one guy for a long period of time, when seeing each other all the time and having every thing perfect gets old so she is going to experince with other people...the chances of getting her back isnt really a high percentage, because after this boyfriend that she has doesnt work out then she will find someone else,but i maybe wrong she may come back to you and if she does watch out it may happen again when she finds someone else, just becareful and take your time getting back with her well good luck and i hope i helped a little
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006): She is still only young and needs to live a little maybe she felt like the relationship was too serious,at such a young age it is hard to plan a life ahead with one man and if she doesn't get this out of her system then she may break your heart further down the line when it may not be so easy to come back from.If I was you I would go out & try to enjoy yourself with friends if she sees you doing that she may feel more drawn to coming back to you.If it is meant to be then it will.Only time will tell..
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A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (7 February 2006):
 This is most likely her way of letting you down easy, to avoid hurting you with the truth. Honesty is the decent thing to do, to let you know where you stand, instead of leading you on. Thats a sign she doesnt have any respect for your feelings, she only cares about what she wants. I don't think she is doing this for your benefit, its more for selfish reasons. She is keeping you on the side, in the event this new relationship doesnt work out.
So this is where you need to make a decision and ask yourself if you are willing to wait around for someone who only cares about what they want and need. If you wait around, there is a good chance you will be on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, up one minute, down the next. Do you really want to get back together with someone who seems to have little or no regards for your feelings?
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