A
male
age
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*efrydel
writes:Hi my girlfriend I had for two years was paranoid about me thinking I was looking at other girls eying them up and kept on saying that someone else comes along I would be off ,I kept on reassuring her and telling her I loved her ,she turned her family against me ,and the relation between us began to strain ,back in January 2012 she told me that someone had put her profile on a dating we site ,but she only told me this because she left her bank statement around and that she has been ringing them to remove herself I didn't see her bank statement but believed her ,so like I said January I didn’t see her much she hardly text or rang me ,every time I spoke to her she made excused up ,so I goes down to her home and she is off with me didn't give a dam and total not bothered about us ,couldn't understand why ? anyway I checked her mobile out and she was getting msg from some random fella with lots of kissed and saying ill see on Tuesday etc I got annoyed and walked out couldn't believe what I’ve seen ,so I waited for a few over a week and she turned up at my home ,she asked why I hadn't contacted her ,so I had to confront her if she was seeing someone else ,she said NO ,, so I questioned her about the msg and she didn't know what to say ,I asked her to leave just didn't believe her on showing her to the door she turned on me and attacked me punching kicking hitting me calling me names ,I was trying to get her out and to stop her,I ended up scratched down my face ,and she ended up with a small cut on her nose ,probably caused by her bag she was hitting me with ,anyway she left and I got a phone call from her brother I work with saying I didn't think you was like that hitting girls ,said what are you going about ,,couple of hours later I got arrested and charged with assault ??I could not believe that she done this ,it went to court ,hand bags a dawn as the judge said so I got twelve months banning order not to speak to her ,,not that I wanted to anyway work was a struggle her brother I work with was going round telling everyone I beat her ,one month down the line I did a search on a dating web site and I found her on it ,so I joined just to annoy her, couple of days later I got a msg from my ex through the date site ,telling me to get lost off ,so I just sent a smiley face back two days later police turned up in work and the arrested me ??what the hell is going on ? I ended up in court again for being in contact after explaining the judge laughed and said your free to go I’ve not spoken to my ex since she lives locally and I know she been in and out of relationship with other men and now she is seeing someone else and happy ,as for me I miss her and just want to ask why I ended up having a break down ,I don't think I could ever talk to her again or even have relations with her ever ,she has totally destroyed my confidence in other girls and still now just can't remove her out of my head
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (9 January 2013):
 I had a nightmare of a time and wrote an article on what I did and it really did work. Take a look: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
A
male
reader, gefrydel +, writes (8 January 2013):
gefrydel is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone ,for your replied ,i really do hope and will move on ,a comment was made that I was target practice for her funny that I thought that myself early last year ,she tried to get me sacked from my job with her brothers help how is a supervised ,she used to work at the company as me ,that's how I meet her ,lost a lot of friends I worked with at first but management was on my side and people I work with for the last decade know I'm not how she and her brother painted that picture of me ,so things are ok in the work even with her brother ,now its down to me to man up and get myself a life of my own
Thanks again for your comment ,I could go on about the thing she did ,but I hope for me there no point
Regards all x
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (6 January 2013):
 what a disagreeable girl.
Clearly she has Issues of her own. She's not worth another minute of your time.
I wish you well in the future.
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A
male
reader, gefrydel +, writes (6 January 2013):
gefrydel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy ex works in her sisters pub as a bar maid, never never bothered me that she flirted with other guys, I even said to her part of your job. So one Saturday evening there was a birthday celebration and her family was there and friend etc, so people was coming in of pub the gf was behind the bar, and this girl come in pub I have known for years and said "hi" to me, so we had a chat and a bit of a laugh as you do. She sat down with her friends, my gf came up to me without a thought and said go sit with her obviously you fancy her, "what", I said, this girl I was talking to I've known for years moved into my dead parents home, all I asked her if there was any ghost I was born in the same home so I had a lot to say, but the gf didn't see it that way.Just another heart breaking story, sorry :(( x
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 January 2013):
You may think you still are in love with her. But reading how diabolically twisted this girl is and the lies, manipulation and nastiness of this girls is an eyeopener. I think there is something wrong with her, to the extent that she can tell a lie and believe her lie and move through life without an ounce of guilt.
I think the reason you still think about her is due to the betrayal and unjustice of it all. You are overwhelmed with how powerfully her lies and duplicity overwhelmed you. As she most determinedly tried to ruin your reputation. Her revenge mentality is terrible to read. This girl wanted you destroyed.
Keep your distance from her.
Better still move away from her - as far as your can. Take a compass and look for anywhere viable where she can't accidentally run into you.
Then never go near her for any reason whatsoever.
She will do this to others. You were target practice.
I think sounds like a practised liar with no qualms about setting out to ruin a man.
Now, that over, start rebuilding your shattered confidence.
Take stock of your good points.
Get involved in an enjoyable sport.
Consider some counselling with a Life Coach to get to on a good path. If that sounds too much for you then get a large piece of thick poster paper and write down some goals for you
(a) specific , detailed, with a goal date, and achievable by that date.
(b) Five smaller goals for the next three months
(c) three larger goals for the next six months
(d) the largest goal broken down into twelve parts - one per month - with a final goal date of one year from the date you set the goal
Try some positive affirmations that you read out every morning out loud and then again read them out loud before you go to bed (find some positive affirmations on theinternet and choose five that you like the most)
Do not mix with negative people who put you down.
Once you are in a new community then join a volunteer group doing good things in the community and offer your time to the group a couple of times a month.
Never give up on you. For you are a good man.
Once you are starting to feel more positive about you enroll in a class to learn a new skill that would give you satisfaction. Woodcarving? Cooking?
If you meet a new girl do not discuss your ex - it is a turn off, no matter what the circumstances.
Join a walking group and get to enjoy the fun of long walks with a nice group of people.
Focus on being nice to you.
Focus on things that support you.
Focus on things that enrich your life in positive ways.
You can do this and rebuild your shattered life. Try not to think all women are like her, because they are not. You will rebuild your self esteem and confidence in you. Then one day, when you least expect it you will meet a much nicer girl than the pond slime you suffered and endured earlier
My best wishes to you
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A
female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (5 January 2013):
 It will take time, I understand where you are coming from, give it time. Find a hobbie, learn something new. Support others that need support.. just do anything.. perhaps what you need is right under your nose but you cant see it because you locked your emotions to that one person.. Let go. Things will feel better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): I think finding out your partner is on a dating site is enough to destroy anyone`s confidence. The last thing you need right now is her making you feel even worse. Keep away and stay away. Why would you want to be with someone who advertises herself on a dating site?
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (5 January 2013):
 She was paranoid about you looking at other girls because she was projecting her own character on to you. She was on a dating site, so what does that tell you? Do not be too hard on yourself. No matter how much attention you gave her, it still wouldnt have been enough. You will get over this and you really do need to. She is not a nice person going off what you have written.
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A
male
reader, gefrydel +, writes (5 January 2013):
gefrydel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi ,thanks for your replies ,the problem is with me ,I still love my ex or is it just jealousy ,she has moved on and I can't ,the reasons why is she loved me so much and I didn't pay attention to her because I had a poor marriage and had a relationship with a girl that like other men ,sometimes I feel guilty that i didn't try hard enough but I know I did ,and know I loved her with all my heart ,me now live one day at a time hoping for a call a text I'm never going to get i know the difference between right and wrong ,she played a game with my heart ,she doesn't know but she broke my heart :(( and just find it hard to move on from my ex suppose I still love her ,got lots of questions I know will never be answered ,,thanks again for your comments all helps x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): Why don't you do yourself a favor and forget she exists. If you don't, she will do more bad things to you. She has been in and out of a relationship since has she? I think there will be a lot more ins and outs to happen for her yet. Keep away from her before something even worse happens.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (5 January 2013):
 Just WTF is there to miss about her? She`s a nasty piece of work. There isnt anything you are conveniently missing out is there? If not, then stay away from her. She`s not worth it.
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