A
female
age
26-29,
*zzygurl
writes:Hey everyone I know this is not a relationship question but I need serious help from you guys. Ok 2 months ago my dad passed away and he had a car he was paying for but he didn't finish the payment, my dad's friend took custody of me and she finished the payment, it wasn't that much, it was like $1,700. My dad spend almost all his life paying for that car, it's the only thing he left me, I thought I was gonna pay her back, but she said the car is hers and I wanted to sell the car because my mum in Africa told me they are starving, they don't have money to eat. I don't know what to do. How could she do this to me?! I trusted her, she took the only thing my dad left me, he didn't say she could have it! Please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012): Talk to your caseworker or a lawyer. If she is willing to take a car, she may not be using your social security to care for just you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 June 2012):
 OP, it's normal that you see it this way , and if actual, formal promises have been given and then taken back , ( like she actually told you she was going to take the car from your stepmom FOR you )... well, this is bad, of course. But , still, make an effort of fairness: I doubt that social security is covering ALL your expenses, and, anyway, you are not paying rent are you ? if that lady should rent the room you are sleeping in, she 'd make nearly as much as your cheque ,I guess.
Have you tried to talk to the lady, and to explain her why this car, or in fact being the official owner of this car, is so important to you ? Maybe she just did not consider things from your point of view, it's worth a try anyway. And, if you just like to sit in the car for some quiet moments of reminiscing... I don't think she would forbid you that ! Anyway, who knows, maybe going through the law you could get the car back for your exclusive use, but, is it even worth it ? You should pay the lawyer- or , you should find a pro bono lawyer , but you'd have to start a litigation with the person under whose roof you are living, that certainly would not make for a civil, relaxed home atmosphere . I'd just let it go- a car is just an object, it may be the tangible reminder of the happy moments you had with your dad, but those moments are forever inscribed in your heart, you can recall them anytime anywhere.
Hang in there until you are 18 , after which you, if you 've got a job, you can leave this lady's house and go live where you want, and in time also buy a car all for yourself. It seems a long time , maybe- but it was not. Focus on school, and on finding employment , and this time will pass fast.
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A
female
reader, izzygurl +, writes (30 June 2012):
izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question @Cindycares, I don't wanna sell the car no more because me and my dad has some great moments in that car, it makes me feel better when I seat on the car and remember the moments. And you said she takes care of me, i get social security every month, and she use that to "take care" of me. My step mom told me she wants the car when my dad first passed away, but I said no, she can't have it. And the lady told her no too, she fought for the car for me( that's what I thought)... She told me I would pay her back, and I was so happy I told her thank you and hugged her. She just took advantage of me because I don't have no parents here. I feel like fool for trusting her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (30 June 2012):
Even if the car were legally yours, you could not sell it without your tutor's or guardian 's consent. You are a minor and as such you could not sign a legally binding contract, or bill of sale.
You say that this car has an affective value for you, then you say you'd sell it. So , it's not about the keepsake value, it's that you think you are being screwed up. I am not sure but... no, I don't think so : the car is used so even if your dad paid a lot of money for it, now its market value is a fraction of the originary one. The lady paid 1700 USD out of her pocket- PLUS, if she is totally supporting you , she is spending money for you. Tryng to recover part of the costs by taking the car may be not classy or generous... but it makes sense and I don't think you can accuse her of scamming you.
If you want to help your mom, Presario gave you good advice, try to get a job ASAP and send her something every month.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): First of all talk to you dads friends, tell her the situation and ask for the car back, if this fails go to the car company, tell them what happened and get as much info as possible, ie amount payed, by who, and evidence the car was for you. Then with this info try again asking your dads friend but not disclosing where the info is, if this fails go and see a lawyer
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A
male
reader, Presario2010 +, writes (30 June 2012):
Hmm this is complicated the only thing that i would say is talk to a LAWYER about this. Did your father have a will if not then i would guess that the car would go to anyone who cosigned the agrement to the car so if it was your friend's dad the cosigner then yes that car LEGALLY belongs to him or so i would think. The only way i would think the car going to you is if he had a WILL other than that i think that your friend's dad has a new car, sorry to hear about your dad but your dads friend took custody of you and payed your fathers car off and he kept you so trust me she is doing the best for you, you are too young to understand what she is doing you are kinda not mature enough to understand, i feel bad about you but just let the GROWNUPS handle this okay.....if you want to help your mother get a JOB and help her, trust me this women to me from experience is doing the right thing
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 June 2012):
 Did your father actually leave a signed will leaving the car to you? If he did you can probably find a neighbourhood lawyer or legal aid to help you establish your claim on the car.
Why has your father's friend got custody of you if you have a mother? Why is your mother living in Africa and what have the starving people there got to do with your car, were you planning on selling the car and giving the proceeds to the people of Africa?
Who is paying for your upkeep? Maybe your dad's friend feels entitled to have the car now she has finalised the payments because she is looking after you. What would have happened to the car if she hadn't finished the payments?
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (30 June 2012):
 I am sorry this is happening to you and I am very sorry about your dad. The death of your dad is hard enought to deal with, but now you have to deal with betrayal too. One of my friends had a similar thing happen to him. He took his step-mother to court and represented himself. I am not sure if that is a possibility for you where you are. If it isn't, think about all of the non-material things your dad gave you while he was alive. His time, attention, and love. Those are the things that are the most important. As well as any happy memories you have of him. No one can take those things away from you. I know it is hard when someone betrays you like this, and I know you could have used the money for your family, but sometimes things like this happen in life. Instead of letting them get you down, try to let them help you be better in life.
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