A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Been with my girlfriend around a year and a bit she is much older than me which for me was not a problem as she has a fun personality and i barely felt the difference at the start i am in love with her and she is my first true love i didnt have a lot of sexual experience before her but she said she also hadnt had a lot and she was nervous and awkward the first few times we slept together which confirmed what she said. The relationship progressed and i continued to like her more and more, she seemed like the kind of person that always does the right thing and she even believes in god and goes to church and everything, i dont know why but i liked this a lot and i fell in love with her and we moved in together and everything was going great, we even started to think about getting married. One day she sat me down and said she had something to tell me, that in the past, she had an abortion, i was shocked and really upset for her she is extremely sensitive and it was obviously something horrible for her but my mind started to wander, i started to question everything we are always so careful what happened for her to get pregnant i thought maybe the condom broke or something but later she told me more she had unprotected sex with a guy at college and that she had had sex with various guys unprotected to the point she took a test becuase she was scared she could have HIV or something. She said she lost her virginity when she was 14, when she was 19 she was with a 40 year old and she has been to motels with guys, now i dont know what to do, the relationship was so good and i really love her but after this i just feel disgusted and angry towards her and now i view her differently and read her differently and i feel like I've lost the person i loved already, if she didnt say anything i would still be euphoric like i was, she knows I'm unhappy, I've tried talking but after seeing my reaction she lies to me which makes things worse because i know when she's lying and this makes me more angry and upset. I feel the relationship is already over but when i think about leaving my feelings pull me back to her and for a time i forget but it always comes back to haunt me.
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abortion, condom, fell in love, her past, hiv , moved in, she lies, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): You didn't lose the person that you loved. Unfortunately that person never existed. It was a fabrication that she presented to you because she thought you would like it better than who she really was.
Now it's time to see if you still like and love this person she really is. Maybe you will and maybe you won't. You'll just have to find out. Give this person a chance but don't hate yourself if you can't make it work with her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Trust me, I know how you feel. I'm with a girl who has more experience than me. When I found out about a past sexual fling that she had, that she said was "good," my feelings came crashing down and for whatever reason, my perception of her changed. My euphoric state, like you described, was shattered. Basically, us guys who don't have a lot of experience are quite upset when we find out the woman we idolize and who make us feel so good were with others before us. I'm getting over my hangups with this, especially with the help of the article found in the link below. Read it, it will help. Click on the link and then on the bottom of the list is a link called "the green-eyed monster, part II." Good luck man. http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/
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A
male
reader, Pistol39 +, writes (21 May 2009):
I think you need to put the past behind you. People make mistakes in life. She came forward and told you the truth because she loves you. Now if you really love her you will have to except her past and move forward. You need to realize that she didn't do this "to" you she did this before you. If you get mad every time she tells you something you don't like she will eventually stop telling you anthing at all. She has put the ball in your court. Are you gonna play or forfeit?
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 Her past is her past.....you are her future.....don't throw away love just because she had alot of sex....she would not be the first girl to do it.....i think your being quite selfish here.....its not like she has cheated on you, she has been honest give the girl some credit and stick by her!
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