A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,Just a quick question - I hooked up with this girl a few times over the last few months, we speak all the time and I was giving her some space to sort herself out (due to her just coming out of a long term relationship). I was waiting for an ideal moment to ask her out when we didn't speak for a few days due to circumstances outside of our control and she thought that I didn't like her anymore so she was with another guy. Now they are seeing each other and I'm not sure what to do.I've spoken to her and it seems as if her heart is split between the two of us (she wants to come sleep over at my house in a few days as we had planned this ages ago and I know that will lead to other things happening). I get the feeling she doesn't want to hurt either of us and she will probably be happy to see us both.I'm so confused - because people around me are all saying that I should leave her be with this other guy and if things don't work out between them, then I can make my move (the old adage of "if you love something let it go"). I just hate fate and time.I'm starting to think the real meaning of life is to have multiple girls going at once - that way there will be no drought. I don't want to turn into that person and I don't want to hurt people - but it feels like it is the only way to survive in today's age. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 October 2009):
The answer is not to go and find loads of girls and hurt them all. Don't leave a trail or you'll not find happiness and end up with a reputatation. The truth is, this girl doesn't like either of you enough. If she really liked you enough, she'd be with you. You just have to step back and let her be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): i think you will save yourself a lot of emotional drama if you let this one go. as hard as it may be because im sure she's hot and thats the problem. i suspect you'll get yourself into more trouble with this chick though because girls do that to you.there is nothing wrong with having a depth chart of girls. that is what dating is. just be careful where you put you know what because that's really where all the drama fires up at.i think i learned over a period of time, (I'm 25) as much as sex is fun and you want that deep wet feeling connection, so much more comes with all that, its never just sex no matter how much you say its just sex, it'll never just be sex.
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A
female
reader, cemoi +, writes (16 October 2009):
i say you should fight for her. what if she get's comfortable with the other guy and you end up losing her all together. when she comes over, you should tell her that although she doesn't want to hurt anyone and she seems to like you both, you want her to yourself. if she decides that she wants the other guy then you lose out. but if she wants you too, then, it could be really good.
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