A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My "friend" is always lying to me and forces me to do things. If I don't she starts crying and says she will go home. She thinks we are best friends and I can't just tell her I don't want to be her friend anymore because we have known each other for more than 6 years. I'm to much of a coward to tell her that I don't like her. What should I do?
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female
reader, zebralove  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I had a “friend” like that once. She use to make rumors about me and I would affect my reputation. Once I found out it was her I got her out of my life right away. Don’t let your self get manipulated by “fake friends” like that, she probably tells every other of her friends are her “best friends”. At least that what mine did. I say tell her you don’t want to hang out with her anymore, it’s the only way she will leave you alone.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I wouldn't even consider her a friend, and my guess is that she considers you a friend as long as she can manipulate and use you. This is unhealthy. Her tears are fake. End things. There is being a good friend, and then there is being a doormat. This isn't a friendship in my book. Friends don't treat eachother this way.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Friendships don't always last forever. People grow up, they change, they grow apart. That's part of life. You and your friend seem to be taking different roads in life. If you can't tell her that you're uncomfortable with the manipulations she pulls, then start reducing your time with her. Be busy, don't answer calls, etc.
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A
female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Friendships are relationships and sometimes in a boy/girl relationship, one of you decides that, for whatever reason,you're just not into the other one. So you move on. There should be no difference and if you feel forced into being her friend because of her manipulative ways, but you really don't enjoy her company or even like her very much, it's time to withdraw. If you are too kind to tell her straight that you don't want to see her all the time or co-operate in this controlling relationship, then start withdrawing, making excuses not to see her, avoiding her as much as you can. If she calls you, say you can't talk right now. If she suggests you go somewhere together say you'll get back to her when it's convenient for you, and then don't call her. She'll slowly get the hint and although she may be hurt and angry, it's better than being told staight that someone doesn't like you. If she confronts you, just be vague and say you've been busy. She can come to her own conclusions but if you refuse to be drawn into her games and avoid her, there's not too much she can do about it. Pushy manipulators are hard to deal with - they make you feel guilty and you end up doing things just to stop their tears and tantrums. Family you have to put up with; friends you don't. Be kind but be firm.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 You're not a coward for this, just considerate. I don't think you really want to tell her that. There has to be some good points about her, a reason why you've stayed friends for so long. When you know she's lying to you, just tell her to stop, tell her to start being honest because you're starting to lose faith in this friendship.
I hope that helps.
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