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She thinks the world revolves around her and her bf. She can't figure out why friends are avoiding her, though. Should I tell her the reason?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2007)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i have this friend and she is pretty cool. she would tell me about her problems within herself and i helped her out. i got her a bf because i thought that's what she needed. then, a month later she starts to change. she's always bashing people about how much better she is...and every time we try to talk to her she rambles on about her bf and how he likes his scrambled eggs. i mean, i was okay for the first month then it just got tiring and i pretty much didn't give a damn about random facts about him. a bunch of crap is annoying me like her thinking she can tell me what to do and she has absolutely no credibility to even say anything...and she also compares me to her boyfriend and how much smarter he is than me and crap! what the hell? who does that? then a bunch of our friends started to get away from her because pretty much the whole world that was around her is tired of her...now she came to me crying and asking me why this was happening to her. and i had to tell her some of it. i told her "you changed and we're tired of you talking about your bf every 5 seconds for the times that we see you." she hasn't changed one bit...what do i do? do i tell her everything? i'm afraid she's gonna be really upset. i'm still her friend and i still pretend that she doesn't annoy me and i bite my tongue every single time...what do i do?

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A female reader, ingotblue United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2007):

ingotblue agony auntHiya, it seems like a heart to heart is way past due!!

you need to arange a night where you get some girly "bits" face masks, hair dye, bath bubbles and ban men for the night!

Have a peoper girly night state that men are banned and that its just you and her to catch up.

Then when you feel the time is right broach the subject again.

How you miss having these girly times with her, that she has changed and that she needs to set times with her friends that dont invilve men.

hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No, he's very cool and he's quiet...

He just lets her talk and talk...

He's wierd but nice...he spoils her...

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (8 January 2007):

Astrid agony auntI think you should remind her she wouldnt be so happy if you hadn't introduced him to her so maybe she should be grateful and thank u you can also add that you're happy about her realtionship but that not everybody is at the summit of their love life so meaybe she should be more discrete about her hapiness so that she doesn't get people bored or fed up, explain it's not personal but borin to liten the same stuff again and again and u could maybe do something different like going shopping clubbin of to a beauty saloon together

ciao

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

I think that you should give her space and let her be for a while, if she needs you try be there for her when you can, tell what you like and what you don’t like about her, she is just having fun with her boy friend let her do that, let her be is what I think... if you are a true friend if the others live her alone, you stick by her when needed if you can... she is still the same person inside..

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A female reader, dragonette Sweden +, writes (8 January 2007):

dragonette agony auntMaking a comment like "we're tired of how you treat us like crap just because you have a boyfriend", might put her in a defensive position and make her less inclined to listen to you, so even thought you would like to say that, I would recommend you refrain from it.

Maybe you could tell her that you are concerned with how insensitive she has become lately to her friends. Ask her what has happened to the person you used to be friends with.

Tell her that even though you understand that her boyfriend is very important to her, it is never a good idea to loose her own personality and interests.

Probably she will tell you that you are just jealous, or something like that, but at least you would have tried.

What kind of boyfriend does she have, that he puts up with having such an insensitive girlfriend? Is he the same way himself? Maybe that's why she changed.

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