A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi there, I am eighteen years old, I have been in a relationship for almost a year with someone who I believe to be the love of my life. We had been dating for about nine months when we both left home to come to the same University, we spent a lot of time together but it was not like it had been at home. I started to nag him a lot about lots of stupid things and felt like I had pushed him away. He admitted that if I kept nagging the way I had been he wouldn't be able to take much more. We are back at University and have agreed to start over but I now worry that he doesn't feel the same about me as he did. Over the Christmas holidays he spent a lot of time with friends but still saw me and kept in touch a lot, he phoned almost every night when he wasn't with me. He is very caring and tells me all the time that he loves me however I am still worried that things won't be the same between us, am I being silly? Should I just give it time? I'm worried he doesn't care as much as he did or doesn't need me as much, am I being overly emotional? Please help, I dont have a very high opinion of myself, Lorraine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you dragonette, i think you've hit the nail on the head, that advice really helped :) thanks so much xx
A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (8 January 2007):
From your letter it looks like you're suffering a bit from low self esteem. Was this maybe the reason for the previous nagging?
"Your boyfriend tells you all the time that he loves you, but you're still worried about him not loving you", listen to how it sounds. It doesn't sound quite right, ne?
So probably he loves you =)
Your best way to make sure that the relationship doesn't go awry is to not worry so much, because it's a lot of work to be with someone whom you need to re-assure of your undying love all the time.
Work on getting a higher opinion of yourself, it's really important because it makes your life so much easier and you will worry less.
It's not easy to achieve this (I know it first hand), but your boyfriend loves you, and maybe this will make you feel better about yourself and then you can grow your self-esteem from there.
I wish you good luck!
/Dragonette
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