A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my Fiance over 2 years now and about 6 months into our relationship I posted a question about how to get her to enjoy going down on me more. She was borderline forced to preform oral in her previous relationship. Your responses told me to keep giving and she would eventually come around and give more. I have brought it up a few times, not wanting to push the subject too hard. But she still not go down on me often. It has gotten better but I have lost some of my sex drive because I feel, it is most of the time me pleasing her and not getting anything in return. I feel that I have given this a decent amount of time and would like to not get bitter in the waiting process. Any advice would be great. Thanks,Don't want to be bitter
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fiance, oral sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): It sounds like she gives it to you sometimes but you are wanting often....you know it is a lot of work sometimes for the girl and is physically tiring for her neck shoulders face and mouth, they don't call it a job for nothing....ask her what it is about it that is bothering her, or maybe don't ask and the next time she does it for you tell her how much you like it and also give her some suggestions on what moves you like, let her know you are there to help her, she might feel insecure about her ability to do it because you have made a big deal about it. It could be that your expectations for frequency are out of line as well, let her know that sometimes she can just do it as foreplay to intercourse and that you don't have to come while she is doing it, maybe that would help increase the frequency for you.
A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 dear god dude, have u ever thought some people are xtremly disgusted at the thought of sucking dick, or munching on pussy? leave her alone, or discuss all the reasons why she wont do it, then let her be. when shes ready, she will. its a very personal thing to go down on someone else, for me, i have never ever sucked dick before my current love. i was repusled by it, and yes, i felt like it was degrading, and almost prostitute like to do so.... i have only been with 5 guys, i never slutted around and it took a while for me to allow sexual relations. but, at first, when my current bf asked me to suck his dick, i cried. he was shocked.was very sensitive to my feelings and was understanding i was not ready to. but, i later did it to his surprise, as i knew after a couple months of dating, this was the man id spend forever with. and i wanted to do all i could to please him in ways hed never imagined. he says hes never had a blowjob as pleasurable and profound as the way i give them. and i came to see sucking dick, is a work of art. u have to LOVE giving it. u can tell if a girls loving it or not by the way she gets into it and the way she sucks ur dick. why have a girl go down on u and inside she is trembling and shaking and loathing every second of it, mind u, i dont swallow even now and my bf does not cum inside my mouth. he knows better. i will spit it in his face if he did. no fear on my half to do it either. i have limits still. give ur gal some time. she might come round, and, maybe not. but if she does, it might be the best cock sucking girl u ever encountered!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 March 2009):
 sex is all about pleasing the other person. now she may not be really into giving oral to you. is that okay with you? have you asked her why she does not? my brothers ex did not give to him, but he gave to her all the time. she said giving made her feel like a prostitute. find out what her reasons are, then it can be dealt with.
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 Sex is about both of you enjoying it, you can't force your Fiancee to do something she doesn't want to do. Oral sex might not turn her on.
Try and play around and find out abit what each other likes. Try kissing her neck and ask her to do the same to you. Keep thinking of things you can do other than oral sex. You might find it fun :)
Livia
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Maybe she is similar to me and just doesn't like doing it. With me I find that the muscles in my neck and throat can only do a few strokes and then they effectively close up and knowing this I find that I feel uncomfortable about doing it. I have no issue with the taste or smell or anything like that I just find it physically very hard work and tiring. Personally I don't think this is going to change for you and if it is very important to you which it obviously is then maybe you should think of ending this relationship. Sexual compatability is very important. I also don't think the idea of giving more or expecting in return works. If she has had bad experiences before and especially if she has been forced into doing something it is going to take a long long time before she does this willingly, if ever.
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