A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I who have been going out for over 2 years were on a break when she went to college. She said things weren't over and it was just temporary. This past weekend she visited me at college we had a great weekend and had sex. I was suppose to go visit her this weekend for parties and sex. She told me today she had sex with another guy a couple weeks ago when we were technically on a break, but she says she felt like she cheated. We were just about ready to get back together, but I don't know what I should do. I can tell she's heartbroken and feels terrible and wants to make it up to me. She already cut off all ties with the guy she slept with, but I don't want to let her off the hook completely. How should I act... do i just forget about it and give her a second chance or do i end our relationship even though we both love each other. Should I call this weekend off and take time to myself?
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female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 Assuming it was more like a trial seperation, it really depends on what you agreed with each other prior to the break...
Sounds like she feels bad about it although she didn't cheat as you were not together.
It's down to you now, can you move on knowing she had sex with another man? If the answer is yes then you should see her, if it's no, you need to move on and if it's maybe you need some more time to think - but suggest you agree you remain exclusive for now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): No, you don't love each other. You may love her, she doesn't love you. If she loved you, she wouldn't want a break.
Technically, she didn't cheat because you weren't together.
You're still pretty young. I would chalk this up to experience and move on. At your age, you should both be having fun and dating not getting so seriously heavy.
As another poster says, a break is an excuse to go off and have some fun knowing you are there afterwards. There's not such thing as a break. You either have an exclusive relationship or not. It doesn't turn on and off like a tap. If a future girlfriend ever says she wants a break, you simply end the relationship then and there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): The whole point of a "break" is usually to provide someone with a technicality for cheating. You should have seen this coming.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 She feels like she cheated- (even though she didn't really).
She's remorseful and feels terrible.
She cut all ties with the guy- (on her own accord I assume).
She told you... she didn't have to... that takes guts.
I say give the girl a second chance on this one, maybe just have the weekend to yourself and by the end of it give her your answer. If you decide to stay with her I reckon just forgive and forget... no point acting resentful towards her... she sounds like she's suffered enough.
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