A
male
age
41-50,
*guy
writes:Hello,My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. Everything has been fine pretty much the whole time. But she has been acting a little weird/distant for the past week. This is the third time she has been this way in the past 4 months. I know she loves me but she has been feeling somewhat stressed. So I tried to talk to her this week but she did not respond. Then I tried to text her but she barely texted or not text at all. So it got to the point I decided to back-off and give her some space. I wasn't going to sit here and try to comfort her if she was going to be difficult. All of sudden today she decided to text me. Now I'm debating if I should talk to her today. I need some opinions. Should I? Or should I talk to her tomorrow?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): Maybe it could be PMS?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011):
She needs to be open and honest with you about how she handles stress. She needs to let you know, "when I'm stressed I just need some time to myself," but she needs to not shut you off. She needs to keep her communication open even if she has to withdraw a bit, and not ignore or neglect you. And she needs to be supportive of how you handle stress as well.
I say you need to sit down and have a rational discussion with her. Let her know how you feel on this issue and that you want open communication, not a sudden cut off. Once you are in a relationship it is important to include your partner, so that you don't leave them feeling abandoned.
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A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 Blokes do this to women all the time, they withdraw to centre themselves and then come back.
It's not common for women to do the sake but some of us do - I have an exceptionally high powered career, I get very stressed, very tired and sometimes I want a massive hug, tucked in on the couch and to be looked after - other times I want to go home, put on my fat granny pants eat ice cream and be on my own. Then when my head is sorted I'm ready to give myself to my partner, before I do that I just dont have the energy I just can't give any more of myself to anyone - but me!
Talk to her about it, tell her it upsets you that you get confused. I tell my OH if I'm in one of my little needing to escape moods - I say "hon, I need some space to clear my head but I will be back once I've cleared my mind" he says the same to me, and when he is off I treat myself i do things i want to do but i always feel delighted when he comes back!
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A
female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (15 September 2011):
I understand how you feel. You feel neglected and ignored and it's not fair. And you're completely right. She can't expect you to be okay with her behavior. It sounds to me that she expects you to be there when it's convenient for HER, disregarding what YOU need from the relationship.
Next time you see one another IN PERSON, sit her down and ask her why she does this and that it bothers you. Be nice about it, yet make sure she knows it's a serious issue. If she gets mad and cannot discuss it as an adult, I'd probably dump her. It's not much to be asking of her to simply be more available or at least to just respond to your messages. It's just common courtesy. She should be treating her boyfriend better than that and she probably knows it already.
So yeah, talk to her about it. Her reaction will probably tell you whether she's the kind of girl you really want to be with forever.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (15 September 2011):
See if you can arrange something fun to do. Say to her "hey, do you remember when we used to do x, y and z? I've looked up "this" to go and see/do - let's do it this weekend"
If you go and have fun, relax, have a good time, she is more likely to open her up to talking about what is wrong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): I think that sometimes she wants to be alone. I am like that too when I am in long relationships. I still love my bf, but somehow I refer to be by myself sometimes, and I don't even text him back or call him. I know it sounds weird, but all of my girl friends are like that, so I think it is normal for girl. Just give her some space when she needs it and act normal when she finds you if you think that she loves you very much. And if you are not so sure about that, then maybe she is cheating on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): I think that sometimes she want to be alone by herself. I am a girl, and that happens often to me when I am in long relationships. All of my girl friends are like that too, so I think it is normal. Just give her some space when she needs it, and act like normal when she finds you. Act that way if you know that she loves you very much, and if you are not very sure about this then maybe she is cheating on you.
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