A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI could really do with some help, I have been dating this girl for about 12 weeks now (Which I know is still early days) and I am starting to feel like I am loosing interest in her. Its not because I am no longer attracted to her because I am its because it seems to me although she prefers the company of her two dogs (on the sofa and bed..aghhh). I used to text her quite a few times a day but now text her maybe twice a day as for some starnge reason i feel more comfortable with the occasional message, but she sends quite a few texts to me 6,7,8 and more a day. I really dont know how to handle this as her two previous relationships ended with her being two timed. I want to stay with her but when I go round at the weekend its although her dogs have priority to sit on the sofa with her than I do, Which I can understand I just wish I didnt go round to see her and end up sitting on a chair on the other side of living room. Also I keep offering to take her out to a restraunt bar, but yet again she wont leave her dogs for a simple 2-3 Hours so that we can have a meal togethor...I dont know any advice lol
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 October 2009):
She's using the dogs as a comfort barrier for her, to prevent her getting hurt hurt again. She's been hurt twice by men, so she's looking for love from her dogs, because she knows they're loyal and that they won't suddenly cheat on her. It would be very sad if you split up because of this. I think you need to talk to her about. Tell her that you'd really like to get closer to her, but it's a little difficult with the dogs always being between you. Just keep getting to know her, and let her get to know you, and she'll come to rely less on the dogs as her guardians, and will look to you for more emotional support.
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 The early days are the best time to set boundaries. You’ve made less investment in each other and it’s easier to walk away if it doesn’t work out. Also, the longer you let something you don’t like continue, the harder it is to make changes.
It is in your best interests to tell her that you wish to go out and to sit on the couch with her, etc. Explain that she has every other day to bond with her dogs and it is important for you both to build intimacy without her fuzzy friends. If you are both unable to come up with a happy medium, then there is no future. Relationships are often built on compromises.
Set boundaries and outline your expectations now. The longer you allow this to continue, the more resentment will build and the harder it will be to do something later.
Before you visit her again, ask her what she wants to do that night. Say something like, "Will we be going out to do something or am I going to watch you cuddle with your dogs again?" It can be said lighted-heartedly, but with meaning.
If you are getting bored, you can let her know using diplomacy so as to avoid her feelings being hurt and still get what you want.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 I guess she is just not that into you, Buddy. Not all relationships are meant to be. I think you should keep looking.
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