A
female
age
36-40,
*marieky
writes:I'm lesbian and I recently met a bisexual woman and we connected instantly. We started hanging out, texting n calling each other. The weird thing is we went to sex store this week and she was telling me which strap on and vibrator she'll use on me. I honestly really like this girl, but she doesn't make much money. Although that doesn't stop her from wanting to go to certain places. 70% of the time I'm driving us on or date and paying. And something else we've only been seeing each other for two weeks but she's becoming upset that I haven't invited her to my house. She hasn't invited me into her home either. It kinda hurt bc she always emphasizing what she want to sexually do to me but she turn around n say relationships take time to build (but she wants sex in the meantime). It's like she gave me an ultimatum today bc she wanted to come over. She said either she come over or we can break it off. I'm really trying to take things slow and feel so pressured by her that I become uncomfortable. I told her I'm not into just being sex partners I want a full relationship. She seems to only care about my pu**y and me spending money on her. I'm not sure what to do bc I did want to build something special with her. I just feel so cheap and worthless when she comes at me in a sexual manner and we have only been hanging out two weeks and she won't even commit to a relationship. And I feel so pressured to do as she asks in order to keep her but I'm highly uncomfortable being this is too early on. Am I being an ass about holding off sex? Is she deliberately trying to take advantage of me sexually and financially?
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female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (16 September 2011):
 My ex-boyfriend was the same, I wish I'd seen the red flag sooner. I ended up paying for everything, being controlled and it totally destroyed me in the end. I got out after 14 years - which was a good 12 years to late.
Unfortunately, there are people in this world who act like this, doesn't matter what there gender is or their sexuality.
I think you know in your heart what to do, we know when something is right and when something is wrong - this girl sounds like shes looking for a sugar mummy to attend to her whims and honestly you sound like a nice girl who can do way better
I wish you all the best
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011): Only 2 weeks into this relationship and already she is issuing ultimatums?? my goodness!
you should end break up with her now because she's got issues, you're clearly not comfortable with this, and as far as she's concerned it's her way or the highway so it's not likely she'll compromise to where you are comfortable.
she sounds pretty immature and high-maintenance and needing instant gratification. I don't believe she'll make you a good partner because you seem like the kind of person who wants a real relationship with a real foundation whereas she seems to want to have just the outer appearance of a real relationship and not put in the actual time and work into building one. This relationship is only 2 wks old but she wants to pretend it's 2 years old.
And yes I do think she's trying to take advantage of you. furthermore if her attitude is "either I get to come over to your house now, or it's over!" her ultimatums are based on such trivial issues I think this is a red flag anyway. Life with her will be one histrionic battle after another.
Basically if you're feeling pressured to progress a relationship, then this relationship is not for you because feelings, getting to know someone, and closeness (which is what it's supposed to be about) can't be created under pressure and a rushed timeline. it sounds like she is insecure and needs to have the structure of a relationship in her life (or being able to say that she is in one), but not the actual personal aspects of it.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (16 September 2011):
 IT sounds like she is sort of trying to rationalize how it should work, but not intellectually. Yes, sex is important in a relationship. However, what she is saying is contradictory.
Sex is an important aspect in a relationship and it is needed to be in an adult relationship.
However, RELATIONSHIPS don't take minutes hours and days to form. Relationships take many weeks and months.
The question is, are you the kind person that likes to wait months to have sex?
If so, you should not be going out with her.
I am the exact same way when it comes to sex, but I choose to not date the people that don't want to have sex as the idea crosses their mind.
Leave her. All she wants is your pussy and your money.
What she needs is a pussy that she wants that wants a nice strap on shoved in it. She is still thinking sex first and is not in a place for a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (16 September 2011):
 Any person who enjoys the finer things in life, but ignores having to pay for them = red flag. There is little chance this is shaping up to a healthy long-term relationship. The attitude is all: take what you can get a.s.a.p.
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