A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean when you start dating a girl and you suddenly ask her to be your girlfriend, and she replies that she needs time because she doesn't know you that well and that she is not ready for a relationship right now? She still continues to talk and flirt but she says that we will see in the future and that she will tell me in the future as she is able. she says she isn't seeing anyone else but me. She says in the future, but what does that even mean? She says that I dont know her and she doesn't know me but why does it seem like i'am always trying to make a relationship with her, well most of the time.....she calls me and texts me but we still don't connect it feels like she is guarded, it's funny though because she initiated contact with me, so I know she has to like me........but she seems to have no problem being herself with her guy friends, it seems like I always get a scripted her, why? Well any advice will be helpful, and I will be happy to leave replies with answers, thanks again for any advice given
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 I think you are trying to date your image of her, not the actual her. Stop fantasizing about women and get to know them for real. Winning their heart sounds very romantic and grand but you don't know if the heart is worth winning until you know the person better.
If you've only met her once, um, you don't really know her. You know her online personality very well but that's not her, that's the image she puts out there.
Find a girl in real life and spend time with her, would be my suggestion.
Don't put too much hope into this relationship working, unless you spend some real life time together. Sorry, I'm a bit more cynical about this. I think you are living in your constructed fantasy about her, not in the real world.
Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOn a dating website, i guess you are right.. but i like her so i will wait and do my best to win her heart, you know for a long time i thought that you went out with someone and dated for a while and then boom relationship, I always felt that i was always right and if i acted a certain way women had to do what i wanted, i'am starting to realize what love is and how women are not some game you play or anything like that, they are people that you have to win there heart and love and they have all the power in a relationship for a reason, because they are always right, i have shown that i'am imature by the way i have acted towards her with my question. so i apologize if i offended you girls and any other women in my life, i;am starting to see know what a bad person i was in the dating world, completley selfish........but this girls is changing me somehow that's why i think i'am finaly seeing what love is, and why i love her :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 September 2012):
You've met once in 6 months? I'd wait until you've had at least 3 in person real life dates before asking anyone to be your girlfriend. After just one, no matter how long you've known her, it's too soon.
Did you meet her on a game or something?
She gets to be whoever she chooses to be in the virtual world. Maybe all you are acquainted with is the virtual avatar she's chosen, she knows that but maybe you don't?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, I guess both answers make sense and we known each other for six months talking, and meet once but still, six months. I really like her no for her looks. But I dont know how to get her to open up as for not dating her anymore, it hard to imagine that given the time, affection I have for her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 September 2012):
I'd pass on dating this particular girl. She's keeping you around as an ego-booster and has no intention of being your girlfriend. She's not herself with you, she's showing off, she's just enjoying being admired and desired.
Just out of curiosity, how many dates have you been on and how well do you know her? If she says you don't know her, that's a really big clue that you may be drawn to her for her looks and don't know much about her character and personality.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 It means exactly what she said it means. It's too early to be boyfriend and girlfriend and that you need to take your time getting to know one another instead of jumping into anything.
She might be guarded if she's had people lie or cheat on her before. Or, she might be more guarded because she senses you are getting too serious too fast.
Relax, take your time, let her take hers, and if/when the time is right...you will know she is your girlfriend and you won't have to ask.
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