A
male
age
41-50,
*namm
writes:Hi,I met this girl who is a orpan,adopted by a holland couple when she was a yr old.She was adopted from bombay(india).She had come to India for around 14 dayz.When we had gone out for the 1st time we talked a lot about our cultures and stuff like that.I knew she was interested in me and so was I.Then after 2 dayz we went out to a disc where we got very intimate and exchanged our cell nos.She wanted me to accompany her to the orphanage from where she was adopted,to which I agreed and i accompanied her to the orphanage.Later she wanted to visit my house.I got her home and I knew she wanted sex from me.But I dint reciprocate becoz i wanted the relationship to continue.Then she left and I committed that i like her thru sms and wanted to keep this relationship going.So we decided to keep in touch thru msn.But now i never see her online.She says she likes me as a friend,but honestly she hasnt tried to continue her relationship...plz advice
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male
reader, nnamm +, writes (31 October 2007):
nnamm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Oblivia,
Thanks for the advice.I thought of the same....moving on!...becoz a relationship cannot be one sided...Think the distance and time difference might b the problem.Mayb wud get an explanation :(....thanks once again
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 p.s.
Just wanted to add that from reading your first follow-up, it really does look like she did like you. You weren't crazy to believe that (in case you ever did :)). Whatever happened then is a mystery and you might never find out. She could have good reasons, or not. Hurtful, I know. I think you should move on. Hopefully one day there will be an explanation.
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A
female
reader, Oblivia +, writes (30 October 2007):
Hi again,
Yes, I agree, it really would be nice to be told what is going on. To just stop contacting without explanation is not very nice since it leaves you wondering about it. It hurts a lot when these things happen, I know. I'm sorry it happened to you. Try to focus on other things and put this person out of your mind. I know it could be very hard, but my advice is that you shouldn't contact her again, you will only feel worse if she again does not answer.
I'm sorry, wish you all the best!
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A
male
reader, nnamm +, writes (29 October 2007):
nnamm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi anonymous,Thanx for the advice.....but i wud 've appreciated if she was straight forward in telling me what her problems were...becoz as u said she is scared of a relationship......but there was no harm in giving it a shot....can ppl b so mean and rude??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Hie there,
Know one thing: some things get healed by time. She myt not be interested now because she has had many heart-breaks in her past life, you never know! Or may be she still is thinking of getting one or two things straight before she finally gives in to you! If you are really serious about her,then i sugesst you give it a second of your time.
Nice time in your decision.
Junglecat one.
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A
male
reader, nnamm +, writes (29 October 2007):
nnamm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
Firstly,thanks everybody for the prompt reply.We were in good touch for a week after she left.She always said that she misses me and has feelings for me and wants to visit me maybe this yr end.She wanted to communicate more but never gave a chance.Later it was only me who was initiating the conversation on msn.Its been a month now since we spoke or wrote to each other.I also told her that henceforth i wont be initiating the conversation.I feel she had been very rude or mayb it works that way.Dont mind been friends with her,though.Should I carry on or move on???
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A
female
reader, Oblivia +, writes (28 October 2007):
It sounds like she decided not to pursue this after all. How many times did you contact her? If only once or twice, maybe you could try one more time and just ask her how she is and that you miss talking to her. If you already did take contact many times and she didn't reply, then you should stop, for your own heart's sake. Was it long time ago since she left to go home?
I'm sorry, I hope I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like good signs to me.
Take good care!
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A
female
reader, JackieR  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 I think your friend has a lot of issues to sort out before she thinks of having any relationship with you or any one.
I feel she can only handle casual relationships at the moment, as there is no pressure or responsibilty on her part!!
If it was me i would keep her as a friend, and start to be friendly with other girls and maybe you will find someone that can give you something that your friend can't.
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A
female
reader, dominicanelly  +, writes (28 October 2007):
o come on! it sounds to me like she just wanted aone nite stand from you...move on
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (28 October 2007):
i would stay friends cus u still want to keep in contact. has the girl left india? if she hasnt then you shud ask her if u want to meet up sometime. but dont be too pushy and immediatly think after she says one thing that she wants sex. y dont u ask her if she feels comfortable as friends or more comfortable in a relationship. hope this helps
lol
ellie
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