A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A girl that i had been talking to for a few weeks now, and had plans to date me down the road after some other guys got left her alone because she had no interest in them. Well they have and she sent me a message saying that she didn't want to date anyone right now, because she wanted her freedom, and then I responded by just accepting it and telling her that its her decision, and just asked if we could still just be friends. Well she responded back by saying that she is really just afraid to hurt me because she does some crazy stuff sometimes. I have been hurt so much that it no longer really hurts all that much, so im not afraid and think the risk is worth it. She isn't the one to lie and always tell the truth and even if it hurts, so i have no reason to not believe all of this. She is harshly true about everything.What do i do, I really like her aside of her flaws, that i am willing to accept. She seems to be emotionally confused about whats best for both of us, what can i do to make her feel better. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i just found out whats going on and, it all makes sense now, i don't know if we will date anytime soon if we do. It was like i was guessing she likes me but she is afraid to because of her previous situation. thanks guys.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, ill post what happens when the time comes. I know she likes me and she has interest in me its came straight from the horses mouth and we've kissed a few times. She also likes to grope my chest(im a 130 pound 6 foot male) which is odd to me because i don't have much going on their and im confused why she likes it so much, o well. She just seems confused about what is best for both of us and I know it sucks to get hurt but i guess im a glutton for punishment and i would rather try and get hurt then never try my best at all.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This sounds like a girl who really understands herself. Just give her some space first. Maybe she's just confused and need to think things through. She is just probably afraid that she is gonna hurt you. Maybe she can and no matter how many times you get hurt you never get used to it. It comes in diffrent ways and you might not see them coming. But sometimes its worth having to go through all that experience of pain because it helps you to get to kno yourself. Maybe that's what happened to her. She is also afraid of getting hurt again maybe that's how she knew her capabilities. Right now the only thing you can do is wait and don't forget to tell her that wat ever her decision is that you will support it. Good Luck!!!!!!!!! Let me know how it turns out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): She is protecting you! She doesn't want to hurt you and she knows herself well enough to know what she is capable of.
Continue the emotional support. Be there for her. Tell her you don't want to pressure her into any sort of commitment. Just let her know you are there for her!
As a woman, to know that a man is there for you emotionally is the most comforting thing you can imagine! A lot of men run from that sort of thing. Well most men I have known!
Just give her some space but remind her that you are there any time she needs you!
Good luck!
Britt
...............................
A
female
reader, Scarlettxx  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 At the end of the day it's up to you to take that risk but the liklihood is that you could be hurt again & you're just telling yourself that you'll be ok with it because the infatuation with this girl is blindsighting you.
On the other hand it could be completely different, you could both end up being perfect for eachother. You never know :)
At least she was being honest with you & that's a start... then again (& I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, I'm just being honest) she could just not be that into you & is trying to let you down gently.
It's obvious you really like her & it's great the way you are accepting of her flaws. The main thing is not to pressurise her into anything but maybe suggest the cinema as friends sometime & see what happens. Or just to meet up for a chat. If she says no you'll know where you stand. If she says yes then it's your chance to prove yourself to her.
Good luck :)
...............................
|
