A
male
age
36-40,
*tg27
writes:I had been dating this girl for about two months. one day she told me that I'm the most amazing guy she had ever met. She said i'm exactly the kind of guy that she wants to marry and have kids with. Then she told me that she has no feelings for me and broke up with me....She said that i did absolutely nothing wrong, she just doesn't feel the spark anymore. How can she think those things about me and not feel anything? Can you give me any advice to get her back? Is there anything I can say to her?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (2 May 2012):
 She clearly has some problems - she sounds like a very confused young lady who doesnt know what she wants. Unfortunately there are girls like this out there, they will say something when they might not really mean it, or they 'want' to feel something so they say it hoping it will convince them that is their real feeling.
You havent given much information on this girl to help us explain why she might have done it - did she get together with you quickly after breaking up with an ex? Has she always been in and out of relationships? Was she texting someone else when she was with you?
If you dont have any more information then I guess my opinion is that she met you, thought you were the kind of guy she wanted to settle down with - but she didnt have a spark with you. I know that is hard to understand, but sometimes you can meet a great person, someone who you cant find any fault with and you know that they are an amazing person. Because they are so great you try and convince yourself that you like them and want to be with them - but eventually you realise you cant force yourself to feel a spark with them.
I have experienced this myself in the past with ex boyfriend's - they were perfect guys really, never did anything wrong, treated me really well, were everything on paper that a girl would want. So I had relationships with them, thinking that the longer I was with them the more I would like them - but eventually you realise you cant kid yourself and that there are no romantic/passionate feelings there.
She was wrong for saying that you were the kind of guy she wanted to marry, 2 months is way too soon to be saying those kinds of things.
I dont think you can get her back though, she clearly doesnt feel much for you so you cant force her to have feelings for you. You deserve a girl that thinks you are amazing and has really intense feelings for you - not some girl that is just going through the motions. Let her go and move on, there are plenty more girls out there.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (2 May 2012):
Hi - unfortunately people say and do things without really meaning them - it could have been something she has said to every man she's met as a way of making them feel good about themselves - its obvious she didnt really mean it so time to move on... No contact and just see how it goes - make sure that your enjoying yourself though.
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