A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this person and I say person because I hardly would call her a friend these days. Well any ways, I was blessed to get pregnant and have a beautiful girl, long before I had became friends with let's just say "J", J was a really cool person, I considered her a good friend of mine. Well "J" got in a serious relationship, and decided she wanted to get pregnant. I was all for it, we discussed our kids growing up together and what not. Well for some reason "J" isn't able to conceive, I honestly kept close but distanced my daughter, so she wouldn't feel bad or even think I was rubbing it in.A side tracked story, now J got engaged and again for her. She would discuss plans with me, even asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was excited! But I started seeing a way about her, she all of a sudden became over the top. Like she would mention on facebook, how her fiancee is giving her a 20,000 wedding limit, but telling me, they are trying to get loans to pay off debt. Never really questioned it, just went about my way. So every day she is bragging about this huge wedding, and then suddenly nothing, she says she just wants a simple wedding now, through the courts ok.Back to the main story, she started to distance herself, which happens so I just focused on what was going on in my life, well she came back around. Now this is when she really started to show down, chatting with the girls about relationships and problems, she just acted like her life was some fairy tale, ans we've talked. She called from the car because her so called fiancee was texting another woman while in bed with her. We were talking about how when he gets out of the military the next moves? She said he is getting on government assistance and working. I said oh ok. Now she got back into her baby fever mode and at first I didn't mind but she compares herself to me! And my parenting. Like oh when I'm a nom this or when I'm a mom that. Then she posted this pix of a 900 dollar stroller set and saying that's the one she is going to get. I mentioned no way in hell, u said babies outgrow all if that before you know it. She said this is what happens when you have expensive taste, my thing is how do you plan to afford this on a government assistance budget? I feel she is a narcissistic person. U don't know why it bothers me! Maybe I'm hurt or confused by what's going on with her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2012): I guess you are hurt because when you treat a friend with your heart, being supportive to her, and in your mind you treasure this friend, you enjoy her friendship but you find out she doesn't think the same way. Personally I had a similar experience , of course the details aren't the same. I always thought we were great until one day I learned from someone else that she's jealous of me. Boy was I hurt! It feels a bit like being betrayed but I guess whatever goes through in their mind must be worse than the pain that I feel because they are angry! From what I see, your friend is not a narcissistic person, she is jealous of what you have, and she tries to build up an entirely different world online just to feel better of her low self esteem. She's been telling the world something she wishes to have, but doesn't! Usually this type of people are angry at many people, many things in life, even themselves, they don't enjoy being themselves and constantly judge and criticize others in order to make them feel better. You don't have to feel bad because I believe she's pretty unhappy about her life. Although its hard. However I guess part of her still sees you as a close friend because she told you some "real facts" like getting gov't assistance but it's just sometimes she probably can't control her jealousy for you so she said something that makes you feel bad and act like someone who's totally different than what she appeared to be before... My advice is, if you still care about this friend you can try to be open to her about what you feel, that her "switching around" makes you feel uncomfortable, that you still care and love her., to show her some support. Communication is the key, as to any type of relationship.
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