A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm a mess and it's only been a few hours, and I'm looking for advice!! My girlfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now, and I am completely head over heels in love with her. I don't get to see her more them a few days a week since she lives about 45 mins a way from me, last night I went to her house to see her and when I got there she seemed off a bit. She has been this way now for a month or so. So I turned the tv off and sat her down And asked her what was up, now what she told me didn't sit well. Essentially she told me that she was scared because she has never felt so strongly for some on before and that she felt like I was more in love with her then she was with me and it was scaring her. We had been drinking a bit and before you knew it we were both piss drunk and I had broken things off with her because I could see this being an issue down the road that her feelings and my feelings would not be on the same page. So I went to leave but she would not let me because we were so drunk. I ended up in bed with her in my arms were we both cried ourselves to sleep. When we woke up this morning we ended up having sex, which made things worse because before I left she said we were broken up and needed time to think about every thing. That she had too much running thru her head and she was just confused. I want her back and I don't know where to start. I do not want to loose this girl, she makes me genuinely happy and I don't want to loose her!!!
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 I think the best thing you can do is take some time apart, a week or so, and then work on things slowly. It was obviously too much fo rher to handle and you both still care for each other. Let her know that you are willing to take things slow and ease her in to the whole thing. Then you actually do have to move slowly over the next few months. Let her give suggestions as to what can be done to make her more comfortable.
You obviously can't just go back to the way things were because that is the problem. Let her know that she has control in the situation as to what is going on and it should help with her comfort level.
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