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She said everything was perfect between us but she doesn't want to be with me!

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Question - (1 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *yte529 writes:

I really like this girl that i met a couple months ago, and for the first month or so things were perfect! spending all our time together. To keep things short and to the point, she would spend the night, i met her parents on several occasions, and we've had sex 4-5 times. She did tell me she was only a few months out of a long and bad 3 year relationship, and about a week ago she said she liked what we had, but wanted to slow things down. so things got a lil distant, but anyways last Friday i went to her work where she pretty much said this wasn't what she wanted right now, and I feel that it may be because i came on to her really strong, and opened up to her, expressing how i felt about her. She has told me that she really liked me and everything, but the night she said she didn't want this right now, she also said that she didn't have the same feelings as she did when things first started, but when i asked her about that she said she was holding her feelings back, we talked a lil more and before she left she said she will text me when she gets home, which i said probably not such a good idea, so she responds saying i will call you when I'm ready to talk to you. I was pretty emotional, but anyways not but a day later she calls to see how i was doing, which i cant understand how a day later she wouldn't know how i was doing! anyways we kind of chat for a min like normal. We go to get off the phone and i told her i will talk to you whenever, and she says good you better! Well it's been a couple more days and I haven't herd from her or tried to call her. So i guess now I'm really wondering if by moving to fast for her, and her not being ready for a serious relationship, did i push her away for good? or have any other girls done this to a guy? where you need time, but come back to him? she even said everything was perfect between us, so I'm still just lost! Thanks for any advice...( by the way i did post other questions on here that were real long so i tried to shorten this one).

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A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2009):

ilovebowsandcherries agony aunti think maybe she's still clearly not over this other relationship i mean she probably is afraid to get in too deep with you should anything similar happen again just as she is trying to heal.

you telling her about the strong feelings probably shocked her system because she has probably realised how unready for another committment she is right now.

you've not pushed her away she wants to stay in contact with you definately a good sign but she may want things to cool off because she's realised that she's not up for that kind of relationship right now and probably didn't realise it until you expressed your feelings towards her which may have scared her because she may have thought you'd not fall for her or something like that.

it's good though she wants to keep in contact with you so clearly wants something to progress but obviously when she is officially over this other relationship.

Hope this helps hun

pop me a message if you need anything else :) chin up

x ilovebowsandcherries x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009):

Well I feel your pain because I went through something very similar a few months ago, I met my now EXGF back in January we seemed to hit it off real well, then towards the end of March she told me what this girl told you, that she isn't sure about us, of course I was sad angry but I tried my best to put her behind me.

Not even a week after that she starts calling me saying she wants to talk to me, I told her to pick the time and the place. And she said that same night, at the beach under the moon and stars. We meet and she says she's sorry for thinking that way and that she really wanted to be with me. A month later she breaks things up for good and I haven't heard from her since April. This is so you know women dont know what they want.

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