A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello agony auntsSo this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut the story short she messaged me by email to say she wasn't able to do this, as she was busy and doesn't get much free time.I didn't think I would get a response back as I know what women can be like these days towards men.I'm disappointed she has turned down the opportunity as she has denied herself the chance to get to know me properly and I know she likes me, but this leaves me confused.When I went into work and got the chance, I said hello to her and asked how how she was, then when she answered my questions. I asked got any plans for the weekend, just like general conversation. But I realised she already told me by email she was busy and she gave me the same answer today. And I feel like a fool for asking.What should I say to her to make this right? We are still fine friendship wise.Help needed guys
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male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 You have to let this one go. Be polite to her at work, speak about job stuff, be professional and make sure none of this emotion stuff gets in the way of your work. You did well because you asked her out knowing you'd be rejected. You lost nothing. Remember: it isn't good enough for you to desire her; she has to want you back, and if a woman does not do that ... Then you will be in misery. Therefore, be thankful for this outcome and move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 June 2016):
 You should PRETEND like you have moved on from the little faux-pas - just say hi and how are you? small talk as normal.
YOU have nothing to "sort" out.
And you can still be "friendly" with her, as long as you can respect that she rejected you for whatever reason. Those reason was VALID to her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 " What should I say to her ? " about what ?
If you are still referring to the weekend plans question : 3 of us think that you should say nothing , one, Ivyblue , feels you should say something and already detailed accurately what your words should be.
So, maybe you are referring to something else ?
The title of your question says " How do I keep things light when I see her again ", is that it?.... Then, well, you just do. You keep your interaction in the same ways and at the same level it has been so far. If you used to smile and say hi, you smile and say hi, if you comment about the wheather or the day workload, you keep doing just that, if you are in the habit of talking about music or movies or whatever, you keep talking about those subjects....
If you want to show her that , after her email, nothing has really changed and you are still friendly, then you have to show it by your unchanged, friendly demeanour, not by any official statement.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): What should I say to her?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (25 June 2016):
I would not say anything at all, you are making this a huge deal which is not.
Look, I am blessed with a better-than-average memory, and still at times I found myself telling people " So, what movie did you see yesterday ? Ah right. You told me ". It's normal, all of us may be a bit preoccupied with something else while making small talk , and we do not have to hang on to every single world people said or wrote in the last week. There's nothing to explain or apologize for, - it's a slip up as it could happen to anybody. If you keep insisting on this , and making a song and a dance about it, then yes that it may look foolish and a tad weird.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 I also wouldn't worry too much about this one, we all say things, almost through habit sometimes, that we have already been given the answer to.
There have been occasions where I've been told something, and then in the same conversation asked the question ... and depending on the circumstances have not realised I've done it until some time later, or gone home and given myself a good verbal kicking.
Just let it drop, continue being friendly as you are, and, as advised in a previous question (I think by Honeypie), look for a girlfriend outside of the workplace, and try to keep the two separate.
Have a great day!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 June 2016):
I also wouldn't worry too much about this one, we all say things, almost through habit sometimes, that we have already been given the answer to.
There have been occasions where I've been told something, and then in the same conversation asked the question ... and depending on the circumstances have not realised I've done it until some time later, or gone home and given myself a good verbal kicking.
Just let it drop, continue being friendly as you are, and, as advised in a previous question (I think by Honeypie), look for a girlfriend outside of the workplace, and try to keep the two separate.
Have a great day!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): I meant she said she was busy and had plans in the email she sent to me, and said the same thing today and I had forgot. Sorry if I didn't make sense there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): Thanks ivy blue that's helped a lot and I will give that a try. It wasn't bothering me as such I just felt a fool when she already told me what she was doing when she rejected me, it's just one of those slip ups we make.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (25 June 2016):
 wouldn't worry about it mate. we all forget things. More than likely she hasn't given much thought to it anyway because it a standard kind of question in idle chit chat, said without much thought. If it is really bugging you though you could, without a fuss, say " Hey look,sorry..(insert name) didnt mean to put you on the spot the other day asking you about the weekend,soon as it came out my mouth i realised i already asked you".
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A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (24 June 2016):
Hi. You don't need to say anything more about it I don't think. Just carry on s if the email and conversation was no big deal, and carry on as before. If you again bring it up you may look a bit silly, and get into any manner of tangled reasoning!
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