A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with a guy for about two years now. He lives an hour and a half away so we see each other on the weekends. Recently, he's been in a class in which he is working with a girl I know and do not like. She used to date his friend and I would see her and hear stories that made me uncomfortable. For example, she would always ask me questions about our sex life, weirdly hated my boyfriend to the point of climbing on top of him and biting his head (she was drunk, her boobs were in his face and everything), if this isn't bad enough she would also call her boyfriend by my boyfriends name accidentally all the time. It seemed like she really wanted to hook up with him. Anyways, for this class she picked to work with my boyfriend and my boyfriend agreed.The project is for the entire semester. I expressed how uncomfortable it made me feel and her ex has also expressed how he didn't like them working together as well. My boyfriend insists he doesn't like her. I've put up with it until tonight. They're going to see a play (as a class) in the city in which I live in (an hour and a half away). My boyfriend is driving her. He was going to stop by at my apartment for the night and drop off an item I asked for, but now changed his mind (unclear if it was before or after she asked for a ride) to just stopping by for a couple minutes to drop the item off. I am so annoyed that he keeps putting himself in these situations where he spends time with her. My gut is telling me there's something weird going on, am I too worried?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 April 2015):
 He couldn't tell her to arrange a ride home so HE can stay with you over night? That I would find odd.
There isn't anything you can do, and for now nothing (as far as you know) has happened.
My guess? Your BF might not LIKE her in that way, but HE KNOWS she likes him and for now he is "basking" in her attention - whether YOUR or his friend likes it.
Personally, I'd be a little unavailable over the week-end. MAKE him MAKE the effort to talk or see you.
I am NOT big on playing games, but I do think pulling back a little and seeing how he reacts could be something I would do.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 April 2015):
 I'm a firm believer in gut instincts (unless you have a strong tendency to be an incredibly jealous and over-bearing person). But overall, I wholeheartedly believe that we, as humans, need to listen to our guts more often, because most of the time, it's telling us something for a reason. But we talk ourselves out of it.
I can't say if there really is something going on between them, but it does seem suspicious. If my partner had expressed significant discomfort with a certain person in my life, I certainly would go out of my way to make sure I didn't place myself in situations that would facilitate that discomfort. He seemed to blatantly disregard your feelings tonight and cancelled his overnight trip with you just to drive this girl? Seems a bit odd.
I say follow your gut. Whatever it's telling you.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 April 2015):
Your gut will often feel things that aren't happening. In other words when a situation like this occurs you start to look for every little thing that doesn't seem right. All of a sudden you're being bothered by things you never would have noticed before.
Nothing you say here indicates anything but your own insecurity. I bedstand why you'd feel this way, but your feeling is not proof of anything.
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