A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for over 9 months now and we get along well usually. I really love her and she loves me too but there is one problem. Every once in a while, she doubts my love for her. She sometimes gets mad at me for some reason and starts casting doubts on our relationship. She tells me that she has this fear that i will leave her one day. She said that she always have trouble trusting guys. She also told me once that if someone gets very close to her, she kind of pushes them away cuz she always end up losing them so instead of them leaving her, she leaves them. So whenever we have a fight, she think i m gonna leave her. I really love her and i wont do such a thing but whenever she doubts my love for her, I get really mad. But after every fight, she always apologises to me and tells me that she doesnt mean it. But then again whenever she gets angry, she starts doubting me and starts saying mean things to me. I have never doubted her so why does she doubt me? Is this behaviour normal for a girl who is in love? Does she suffer from some psychological problem? By the way, she is quite smart, funny and nice person but sometimes she acts weird when she is angry or upset. It doesnt happen often but still it bothers me.Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): I know a girl like this. I asked her why she acts like this in the past, and she said it's usually because everytime her boyfriend said or did something she didn't like, or made her feel upset in any way, no matter how small, she wouldn't address the problem, or talk about it... Instead she'd bottle it up, toss it over in her mind til it got wayyy out of proportion and then when they fought, all of this would come spilling out and she'd shout stuff she didn't mean. Only afterwards would she realise that none of it matters and she'd be really sorry...
I basically told her to take every tiny thing as it comes, and Talk about it.
I don't know if this is what your girlfriend is doing, but she's behaving the exact same way.
Urge her to open up about the small things that might bother her.
A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 she is reacting reasonably normal like she told you she does have some trusting issues and i dont doubt that you love each other but maybe you should try and show her a little more affection just so she knows 100% that you do love her im not saying do it all the time but take her somewhere and make her feel really special and tell her how you feel towards her maybe this is all she wants a little more attention than what you are giving her.she may have some insecurities in herself which is making her feel this way towards you maybe she feels you can do better than her and it worries her that you will go with someone with a better figure/personality/looks for example you just need to reassure her of your love for her,give a little more attention and dont take to heart what she says to you in an argument she probably just gets nasty because she expecting you to end it so she doesnt want to show her upset shed rather show her anger
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Hello.
Understandably it is annoying that she keeps doubting your love for her. However, she has explained to you why she does it and also you say that she does not do this often, only when you guys fight. When a couple argue things can get a bit heated and emotional and both parties can end up saying things that they do not really mean. It seems like this is what she is doing (she even recognises this and apologies afterwards.
I think you have a great girl on your hands, who just needs some reassurance from you about your love for her. Let her know when you guys are NOT fighting that you love her and would never leave her. Constantly let her know that you are not leaving her and you will see that over time, she will not bring this up in fights.
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