A
male
age
36-40,
*oveJoy5
writes:This is a long one, bare with me....So... I've worked with this girl for 3 years, we work in different departments so haven't gotten many chances to talk in detail, mostly just passing. One day down in the breakroom i get her number, text her later, blah blah and we end up going on a date that night, we totally have a blast. She's making joking comments saying 'we've worked together so long, i didnt know you were actually cool, a nice guy' this stuff, i joke back telling her she isnt as crazy as everybody at work says, blah blah again, we have a blast that night and go out seperate ways.a couple days later we hang out again, watch a movie, go out on the town, have a blast, we are totally clicking. we hang out almost every day, skip a day in between here and there for a week and a half or so.this whole time she is randomly sending me texts like 'i really like us (unexpected:) ) but i really do like whats going on" and "just a little kiss goodnight..muah" stuff like that, that gets me feeling good about where we are headed...then nothing.for like 4 days we dont talk much, or hang out at all, then i send her a text asking if we can watch a movie or go to eat, and it starts up again for the next two weeks, we get sexual and all goes well for another week or soWell..... she acts kinda funny one day during lunch, like she needs a 'fix' of some sort, which i knew about, something we were working on together, and she thinks i dont want to be around her, so that night she sends me texts saying 'are you over it?' and im like no, its no big deal, it happens, and she says, ' no, i mean over me' and im like no, i dont give up on a good thing that easily, and she says 'good, just hang in with me for a bit' 'it will get better, dont give up on me'....which makes me feel like she wants it to work, and i like thatso....like a day later nothing again, harly no texts, doesnt call me, doesnt send me the 'goodnight you...muah' texts, nothing..i call her and ask her if she's scared of getting hurt, scared of relationships..what it is, and she just says, yeah, i get scared...but how do i deal with this?do i leave her alone and hope she realizes that she misses us? or so i put it in her head that it will be ok? ive never recieved the mixed emotions like this before, but we totally click hard, when we are alone, when we are in groups, when we are at parties, out on the town, with eachothers families, we have so much fun, i know its therethere is something totally strong between us, but every once in a while she like talks herself out of it...even after asking me to hang in there, and dont give up on us... i r confused.. people saying shes playing hard to get..so do i do my own thing, and wait for her to come around to me? or do i still pursue her, i dont want to seem clingy as well ya know? just let it go a few days before asking her out again?shes told all her friends she likes me, and they all say im great for her, all this stuff, we totally have a connection im just not good at these games i guess
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male
reader, LoveJoy5 +, writes (11 May 2009):
LoveJoy5 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks hellfire, kinda getting that vibe, ill give her some time, however
thanks anoms, im totally gonna do the surprise date thing, there is a place we've talked about going, and im gonna pull it off, saying i have something else planned, then take her to that place, love it
A
male
reader, philipgifts +, writes (11 May 2009):
 I would give her the option to go out with you. Tell her I'm free this week what about you, you want to do something or do you still want to assess the situation. I would text her three times a day, one to say good morning another to say hope your days going good and another to say, goodnight. Ask her if she feels that your r/ship will workout, and if it could be more in the future. Bc thats the kind of r/ship you want to be in is a r/ship thats going somewhere and leading to marriage and a family in the end, is this what she wants or is it something different? At one piont your going to want to move in together and is everything going to work out if you move in together? Bring everything up to her attenchen, make it clear to her. She seems like she wants this but she needs a few nudges to get there.
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A
male
reader, anoms  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 hey i was in a similar situation with a girl recently, she was constantly blowing hot and cold, hot: whenever we met up, cold: when we were'nt together, as in texting.. it was a little baffling but i didnt want to come accross as clingy either, your advantage over mine is that her friends have told you how she feels which i would find encouraging. but in my case i gave up within 2weeks. but sinse you two cant really avoid eachother since you almost work together you should stick with it, im sure her friends will be the first people to rub it in if she meets somone in the mean time. if your finding it difficult to invite her out and your sure shes just a little reserved then why dont you take her out on a surprise date? tell her you need personal help/assistance with something, just a thought, well gudluk anyway
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A
female
reader, miss hellfire +, writes (10 May 2009):
Sounds to me like she may have some baggage!!
I think she may have been hurt before and she feels a strain that it may happen again, I think your best bet would be to let her know your there for her and ask her if she would like some space for a little while, once she has had some time to think she will come to you. Your relationship together sounds great and any girl would be jealous of what you have so hang in there and be supportive. Good luck.
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