A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Exactly five months and two days ago my ex-boyfriend and I were caught having sex... by the girl he was dating while we were doing so. They had just celebrated their two-year anniversary a day prior to this incident.Anyway, at the time, I didn't give a shit. In fact, I thought it was pretty amusing that it happened the way it did because I hated the girl - even though I never had a reason TO hate her, I just did because that's just the way I was.I'll admit, I was a bitch and had had eight sexual partners before this guy. A guy I'm not at all interested in anymore. He and I dated from a week after they broke up to just over three weeks ago. So we were ultimately together for about four months.Since he and I broke up, I've been thinking a lot about what happened five months ago. I've come to the realization that I did something horrible: a girl was completely crushed by the guy she loved because of me.I don't think I've ever felt so guilty about anything in my life! And now I'm alone and remorseful and a little hurt, I'm wondering if karma is really going to be a bitch to me?I know what I did was horribly wrong and I do feel very bad about it. I mean, the guy and I haven't even spoken or seen each other in three weeks and apparently he's been having failed attempts to get his original girl back.Understandably, she's not taking him back... at all. Ever.I just want to know: should I try to become friends with her even though I know she wants me to burn in hell? How do I get over this whole thing?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): what do you hope to achieve by befriending this poor girl who will always have the image of you and her bf having sex. i think she has suffered enough. the fact that the bf in question has been trying to get back with her may mean that he and she actually had a special relationship and that he may really love her. sad that he realised this after he got caught.
i think that perhaps you got to do some growing up recently and have also been questioning yourself. if you have really changed then good for you. what alarmed me is that you seemed to actually take joy in hurting the other girl. i think you need to question yourself and what you hoped to achieve. it was very sadistic indeed.
as for karma i think the other posters have said enough about it. if you have changed for the right reasons, you should congratulate yourself. if not, then you have serious problems.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 May 2009):
 I don't think Karma works quite like that, but you just never know.
What you did was callus and careless. You understand that now. Good, you learned something.
I think you need to stay away from that girl. You have done quite enough. However, one day she might actually think of you and thank you. If he hadn't been messing around with you, he would have messed around with someone else.
Sometimes we do stupid things. Sometimes we are just plain stupid. Only way not to STAY stupid is to LEARN and move on.
Instead of spending time worrying about the what -if's and the Karma's a bitch, spend time rethinking your attitude and self respect.
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 I would say that you are sorry for what you have done then cut off all contact with both of them.
If you think you have hurt these two enough then you don't want to cause anymore bother with them again.
Try and forget them and say to yourself this is a new start, become the new you.
Set some rules down for yourself and set some goals for you to achieve. This will show you have matured, you know you have made mistakes you have made but you are chosing to learn from them, everyone makes mistakes from time to time, we are human thats what we do. One rule could be not to sleep with anyone in a relationship.
Good luck
Livia
xoxox
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