A
male
age
36-40,
*ubba1988
writes:Please read entire post as I really need an answer:So, I recently got out of a 1 year and 2 month relationship. For about the first 3-4 months things were perfect as they always are, and then the fights and arguments started to happen. I'll admit that we didn't treat each other the way we should've, which is why we were always fighting about stupid small things. I'm also a very stubborn person and sometimes dont like to admit when I'm wrong so that was something that made the arguments a lot worse than they were. She was one to talk about it when it happened so that it could be nipped in the bud. That wasn't always the case. We both cheated on each other and obviously loved each other a lot and worked things out in both situations. We got over the hump of being bad for a while and just when things were getting better, I decided for a whole week that I would basically do what I wanted. Instead of me coming to her dorm or vice versa I would go out with my friends. This happened at the beginning of last week. I went out on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday she slept over. I went out thursday and Friday morning she showed up at my door. We argued for a little and then we worked out the issue and I thought things were going to be okay. I then told her I was going to visit another school with some friends. She immediately was upset because she knew the type of females at that school and they don't care if guys have gfs. I ended up passing out by 12 and wasn't responding to her. We get into another huge fight that causes her to just break down emotionally and she leaves school and goes home to her family. She breaks up with me and it was kind of sudden because it obviously wasn't mutual and I found out from someone else that I was single. She says that she is fed up with all of my stuff and that as of right now we're over and that she needs space. She's texted my friend everyday since saying that she loves me, wants to be with me and asking why don't I text her. She also still wants to be with me she tells but she needs to see a change in me so for right now she wants to be single and do her own thing. What do I do? I know I need to give her space but to what extent? I know she loves me a lot but what do you do when she says she is "happy without your bullshit but not happy without you"? Will she eventually see that I have changed and start to miss me at all. Realy Appreciate any advice...Thanks
View related questions:
needs space, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Why, when things were just starting to get better would you decide to go out with your friends every night for almost a week straight? Are you trying to mess things up on purpose?
And when a girl says she misses you but not your bull crap that means she would rather break up with you then put up with it anymore. What has been going on between you too for her to say that?
Whatever went down, it sounds like it has been broken to many time for it ever to be right again. You'll never be able to glue all those pieces back together again. Some are broken, others are missing and you can use all the paste you want but it will never be as pretty as used to be.
So I think it is over, all you can do now is learn a lesson from all this about how not to treat your next girlfriend.
A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (10 March 2011):
It means you need to show real interest in her rather than only about you. From your actions you wanted to have fun and hang out with your friends. But in your fun you never even considered your girl friend even once. You never once placed yourself in her shoes. I'm sure if you put yourself in her place and realized that she made the effort to see you and what not then you might actually understand. Do you want to be with her? Do you love her? HAVE you changed? If that was the case I would be send her a long message to explain my actions. It is the type of message that admits one was wrong and doesn't need a reply. Then I would tell her how much I need her in my life. After that, occasional short sweet messages would be fine wishing her a good day or something like that. Basically right now you are not showing any interest right now. Obviously she needs space and she is getting that space by being away from you. Being in front of you and trying to argue with you does no good to her. If I were you I'd take the 1st chance I could get to see her.
...............................
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Ah, that's exactly the line i use to politely turn down a girl: "I like you but i need my space". What i mean, and what your girlfriend probaly means too is: "I like you but not enough to make the sacrifice and give up my space and time. I will only do that when I find the right person". Would you tell that to a girl you really liked? Don't thing so. Best wishes!
...............................
|
