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anonymous
writes: Dear Friends,it's the first time i am feeling weak in my life, i don't say i am a superman, but till now i was controling everything in life. i thought initiatly perhaps naively that i would not fall in love simply because this special girl just don't exist and i resigned myself just to lead a single life and to cater for my family. but you see i just fell in love with this heaven looking girl and the problem is that she is in love with some other guy and told me she don't love me. i really tried my best to forget her indulge myself in many projects i am working very hard / but it seems that i still can't forget it sound silly isn't it but i just can't forget her/ i just want some advise before something terrible happens to me.....
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male
reader, Wako  +, writes (21 August 2010):
Hey there man I googled this situation looking for help my self. I read all of the replies. But trust suicide doesn't help. Trust me once i held that gun too my head and i released giving up just isn't the way too go. I like what 2 people said always be there for here. I told her that when we first started talking. If i killed my self that wouldn't be a man about any thing. Just always be there for her no matter what. even if she wants too talk about her other man. Sooner or later she will eventually relies that you love her. Every time im around her my stomach get a great feeling and i feel invulnerable but just don't give up. A great movie too watch that may help is 300. 300 men fought an army of 100000 but they never quit till they had victory. Just no matter what it takes be there for her and always comfort her and shell will relies that and give you her love back. I leave for basic training next year then i go to special forces selection so i wont give up till the day i die serving my country. I hope this helps and let me know how things turn out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): friend, i m in same situation.i m still searching answer. its easy to say "forget" but i know it will take some times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): do you really want to forget her? im in the same position, there are times when i wish i could too...theres a girl who loves me as much as i love the girl i love and im TERRIFIED of hurting her...as for the suicide threat...i think you should calm down, dying wont solve anything...she'll just feel guilty and end up hating you...
so make some friends and dont try and forget her with someone ele because it won work
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): I have a similar problem, if not, the same.
I've known this girl for about 3 years. I met her through a class I was debating about taking at school; now I don't because I'm so glad that I've met her. We sat far apart because we never met before or even knew each other (we were in a split class). I decided to go over to her section of the room and mingle with the other classmates for a bit. I kept doing it everyday (not because of her, but because that small group of students were pretty nice to chat with). Eventually, I heard that she liked me. Since that this 'liking' happened just because I kept chatting with these students before/during/after class, I didn't think that this could be 'official', so I let it be... For now... Over that semester, we got closer and closer. Our class went to a city about an hour away, and all she wanted to be was with me the entire time. I felt honoured. This girl is a mid 90's student, she's got a good sense of humour, beautiful, but... She's got some issues at home. Her father passed away when she was 10 (she's now 17, almost 18), and her mum brought home a boyfriend, and he treats this girl like dirt. I don't know why or how, but I'm the only one she ever talks to about her problems. She keeps telling me how thankful and lucky she is to have me; I literally let her cry and soak up my shoulder, drive her somewhere whenever she needs out of her house (6-7 times a week), take her out to nice sceneries/places... But not because at the end I 'wanted' her... I loved her. Meaning that I always wanted the best for her, and that I was going to work beyond my limits to achieve that for her. Anyways, she's in the school band, and she knew I played an instrument and got me to join. We had fun, and played multiple shows together. She's a busy girl, school council president, piano lessons, Italian family :P, tutors, 2 different types of band, vocals, school, and her family stresses. Despite all this, she fights with her mum so she can get out of the house; to do nothing but sit with me and talk. She tells me she loves me (everyday). I thought it was official, we held hands, etc... Obvious gestures to say that we're together. (about 1.5 years of knowing her). She tells me she's never been happier, and is so lucky that she and I took that class that brought us together. Despite how useless it was, she doesn't regret it, neither do I. We have gotten even closer. I dealt with SO much with her, and the relationship got stronger. About a month or so ago, this friend of ours decides to try and hook up his best friend with her. THEY BOTH STARTED CONSIDERING. I was crushed and went into depressed mode. Severely. She was concerned about why I was like this, I never told her because of everything she already has to deal with, and I don't believe I'm someone worth worrying about. Later I spoke up and said, "Well, what's a 'relationship' if someone tries to put two other people together, for the sake of his own friend?" and left it at that. She considered my line and she told the guy who was 'arranged' to be hooked up with her that she didn't want to. One of her excuses for rejecting this 'matchmaking' was also, "I don't want to if I've already been planning/thinking of dating someone else in a couple months from now." This guy is also in her grade (she's 8 months younger, a grade less than me), she never talks to him, only when he annoyingly calls her for homework help. So now, I feel threatened again. Someone's going to strip the person I love away from me. Then she realized about her never talking to him, and ditched that idea... So about a month or so have gone by; SHE'S CONSIDERING THAT 'MATCHMAKING' GUY AGAIN! I was a bit jealous seeing them rehearse all the time for the band I'm not in, but I went to watch them a few times (they were with a few other musicians), and I was supportive. I totally ignored my feelings and never let them get in the way. Now I wonder if I gave her 'too much space'. After their 'hit song' they perform for concerts at school, everyone tells them it was the best of the night; which they deserve, but brought them closer. I DREADED sitting through their song during the concert, it crushed me. I knew that sooner or later, he's going to lure her with his 'charm', and I'll be crushed and depressed again. So now here I am... Threatened again when SHE TELLS ME, "Ya, I think I like him now..." I was crushed, crushed, crushed. My heart felt sore. Now what? I'm about to let go and leave it be, I've been threatened way too much. This is going to be a hard, long road to recovery from a love drunk hangover.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): yeah, i have the same problem, only with me, the other guy made her feel so bad she cut her arms, so then i tried to help her but then she said that he apologized and knnowing me i had to react, so i told her that sorry doesnt make up for that much pain, we talk like every night for 2 hours or so, and she knows i love her and she loves me too, but she just wont let go of this guy. i really cant take it anymore, weve even talked about how im going to propose to her, im only 13 but ive loved her since ive met her, we went out for about a month, then she said she needed a break, so we took one, but now i need her back but she wont accept me, ive tried everything, plus for cristmas im going to give her something really important to me, a necklace with a blue and purple horse on the end with a real diamond for its eye. can i get any help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): Hey, i know what it is like to love someone who doesn't love you back. And yes it is one of the worse feelings you can get mentaly. But you cant force somebody to love you. the only thing you can do is let her know you care about her and tell her how you feel and be a good friend to her and maybe someday she will love you back. And if she doesnt then it was never meant to be! but you at least got to try. you cant let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game, which means even though you might be scared to talk to her because she might not ever feel the same way about you. doesn't mean that you should try, cause giving up doesn't ever get you anywhere! just try your best, and good luck:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): Hey I have been in the same situation as you for 3 years now and the best thing i found to do was to just keep living and let her do the same i do talk to her like every 2 month or just try to go to the same bar or place every 3 months just to make sure I still feel the same about her i love her since the beginning but if she ain't happy with me than I want her to be happy without me the way i get trough it is by never stopping looking for another girl that make me feel the same way and if one day it happens again than it happens but dont force it you'll regret it.
Remember screwing up the best thing ever Is something you'll regret forever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): Really my friend,this isn't any of strange. I could say I'm in the same situation, but I would be lying. I'm way worse. Besides all of that, I still have the problem the guy is my best friend, she is deeply in love with him, and even more I appear to suffer from borderline personality disorder, whcih does help in feeling I'm a useless piece of s***. So I just tell you keep trying, become her friend, sometimes tell her how you feel, other times do a joke of that, just relax and stay cool.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): hello friend,I have passed through this ....Don't worry.... Just try to get that, is that guy also love her? If not then don't worry , just be as friend to her and make her feel that there is some one who is caring for her each and every time....It will take time but she will know that you really love her.... Never try to force her any way....Don't forget to wish her in any event or festival.Try to friendship with her close friend and get help from her to know more about her and her likes dislikes.And yea never beg to some one to help you.And yea that guy also loves her then you cant do anything but be as her friend, and wait for time if you are lucky she will tell you her self something about this and dont miss that chance.
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reader, amy123 +, writes (2 August 2008):
hey i hope that your conflict is resolved by now...but if its not let me start with you are not alone. i too am undergoing this same situation.. i really am in love with my best friend but he doesn't feel the same...as far as the "something terrible" part...please don't feel as if suicide is the answer..or even hurting yourself... have faith in the following quote, "what's meant to be will always find it's way" darling i promise if you and this girl are meant to be you will end up together. good luck to you
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): let go mate i know the feelings you are going throuh it's no good if they dont you love. they will in time betray the love you have for them. let go move on someone will open a door for you look back and smile
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Hey, I understand the exact feeling... you feel like you want to die for that person and you would do anything to prove how much they mean to you... you cry at the thought of them hating you and u smile at the thought of them giving a damn... it kills... Im in the exact situation exept for the fact im a woman... You should NEVER give up EVER... Always have hope no matter what if that person means alot... good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): I'm no expert but in the same situation; is there an answer? I don't think there is accept to just feel the pain. I'm trying to be her friend despite this guy being a total ass to her day and night because no one else is there for her. Maybe she will never want to be with me but because I love her the way I do I just need to try and help her no matter what. He sets conditions on his feelings for her so I refuse to do the same; I love her unconditionally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): hey! I found this page because I needed advice on the exact same problem :) The feelings I have for this girl are preciously rare and I'm not gonna give up on them. Love is special and you don't go through life feeling it often enough to ever give up on. This girl I like is with someone else at the moment, but hey I'm just gonna be myself, not try to hard and hopefully one day we will be together. You can't force anything though, and ultimately, if its meant to be, it will be... Be yourself, be confident and relaxed, and don't force anything. Take care mate :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): Hi There,
I too went through this phase.You are not alone there are thousands.Still it comes back to haunt when I am in solitude.Let me tell you.Its over and you got to move on.The more you try to do something about it the more sick you feel.I know it kills self esteem.
Tip:Think of how you used to be before you met her.Try to return to the same state that you were before you met her.To be in love with someone who didnt love you is just infatuation.Time will heal it all.You definitely find someone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): Omg same stuff just happend to me here recently.. I did the same things became a workaholic and what not but hey not sugar coated like these gals in here put it at all she will be in your heart like mine is but keep on keepin on bro we all go thru this at one point or another it sucks I know but we must keep marching in hope that we find someone who could share our love once again..Against the world against all odds we will stand up again!~Mabus~
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): i know what you mean ..... i met this guy that i loved and still do i dated him and we broke up and i want him back hes dating one of my "friends" well we where but now we are not anymore infact we hate eachother .....anyways he doesnt love me but im madly inlove with him and theres nothing i can do just like theres nothing you can do....just pray to have hope because if you 2 where meant to be you would be together dont give up and never say to yourself that its over and you give up because then you never really loved her ....think about how shes feeling and understand how shes feeling its hard for her to its not like she wants to hurt you but just like you shes inlove but if you guys were meant to be she will fall out of love with that guy and go to you....just remember dont over burdan yourself over one person dont do everyhting just to impress her make her fall inlove with you not someoneelse that she thinks is you trust me i know what im talking about :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): If you really are feeling this badly I would seriously consider you to seek some kind of councilling.
I'm not quite sure what you are meaning by "something terrible happening to you." I would hope you are not suggesting any kind of self destruction.
No one on earth is worth that!
It seems difficult now for you I'm certain..and we have all suffered sorrow and loss when it comes to Love. Give yourself some time. She will probably always be in your heart but she has obviously made her choice. You want someone worthy of your Love! Try and be patient with the emotional roller coaster you are riding,and seek some help!
Best of Luck to you!
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reader, mommyofthree +, writes (11 January 2006):
 If by "something terrible" you mean suicide please call for help! There are suicide help lines in every state and they can help you through these difficult times. Though I feel uncomfortable giving any advice on your situation because I am worried about what could happen if my advice failed, you can try this website there are many people that will help you get through this http://www.befrienders.org. Good luck.
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reader, lizabeth +, writes (11 January 2006):
i don't no how long ago you split but trust me you will get over her. i can't help you forget her cause basically you never will, but i can help you get over her if my advice is for you. take lots of soothing baths, be with family regularly, take long walks to think and face up to things, think about all the negative things about her not the positives, and the best cure for a broken heart is laughter. go out with your friends and have a laugh. the worst part of getting over somebody is seeing them whilst your in the process. but believe me im sorry to say but it happens. my best advise is chill out and hang with good friends and don't think about her whilst your having fun. she will come off your mind while your with your mates, trust. hope ive helped x x x x
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