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male
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*urgo
writes: Im 23 year old male, I've been dating my girl friend for about 4 months now. Recently our communication has kinda gone down the drain, we have hit a wall we cant get past. 2 days ago I found out after talking to her that she loves this guy she talks to online thats she has known for 4 years. But is recently realising that she loves him.... well that what she told me. I asked if she loved, me, but she replyed "not in the same way". So im trying to figure out what I should do. Im giving her time to think about what she wants. mind you shes upset about this cause she knows shes hurting me. sorry i forgot to mention hes lives accross the US. I basicly told her she should make her decition on what she wants, and should act like this guy shes in love with lives here. As so if she chooses me, its not because im closer. She really does care about me. This I know, but if her heats with someone else this relationship cant go foward at all. I dont exsoect this fixed. I just would like it to change.Well any advice or guidence would be good to have. Considering i've never delt with this before.Thankyou. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Turgo +, writes (27 August 2006):
Turgo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell Its ended. I couldnt handle it anymore. I sent her an email. Im say, and trying to cose with this. thanks for all your advice.
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male
reader, Turgo +, writes (24 August 2006):
Turgo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks all!Im already in pain, but..... im understanding things a little more. Shes always love this guy. Like Malyce_Synn72 + He listen and can be sympathetic. so yeah that would make sence, why she would love him. I know she wants to fall in love with someone close to her area. ie me or someone else.. well currently me. I think i may have taken this a little hard. i found out that shes loved this guy for the past 3 years. so if this really was somthing new then i would be more of a problem. like i origanly thought. i dont think shes lieing.. at least i hope not. but im gona wait it out and be stong.......i hope this works out ok..... i realise this is risky.... other than this and some minor communication problem before this. the relationship is great, and loving. so i guess thats why Im sticking it out. thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): Well it is good you let her know that you know and that you weren't happy with it.
I also think it was good of you to lay the ground rule down that she needs to decide, did you give her a time/date?
You have to prepare yourself that she may just chose to leave the relationship.
It is easy to lay claim to love someone because they listen and can be sympathetic and therefore come across as emotionally supportive and understanding.
She will change that tune if she lived with him; it is the way it goes.
I say let her go and find some woman who is happy and willing to commit and work on the relationship and who can turn to you when times get ugly and who can just trust and rely on you to do what is right.
She's out there.
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female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Your being very understanding and must feel a lot for this woman, but she is not being very fair on you or this other guy. She should not expect you to sit back and wait while she chooses between the pair of you. Even if she does choose you, do you think you could really be happy knowing that part of her would prefer to be with someone else? Four months isn't that much of a long time maybe you should consider getting out of this relationship now before she really hurts you. You seem like a nice sweet guy and she is a fool.
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