A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok me and my best friend are very close, we are always together and tell each other everything. She lost a close family member about a week ago and shes just the worst i've ever seen her. Although she doesn't really cry a lot, she holds it in and tries to be strong but i think she's realising this is a bit harder than just feeling a bit emotional or being upset because of an argument. I see her every day in school and out of school and at this moment in time I dread having to see her tomorrow because I just don't like seeing her upset. When she does get upset I want to hug her but I just freeze up and can't do it, all I can seem to do is talk to her and ask her to talk to me about it but I don't think it really helps. To top all this off we have our exams in a few weeks and she told me she's not gonna let this get in the way of them. But the thing is she just sits there in class staring at the paper (whilst doing work) and you can hear her breathing heavily and you can tell she's virtualy crying. I've never actually seen her do so much work in lessons or anything as she is now. when I say that I mean we used to talk about things in class like everyone does but now she won't talk at all and I know its not cuz we have exams its because of her being upset and wanting to keep her mind on something else. It's getting too much for her, she's determined she'll get through it but she can't carry on like this, I really wanna help her please can you help?
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female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (3 May 2007):
 When I lost my father quite suddenly, I was surely grief-stricken and cried and cried! I was so stressed out that I was having chest pains! I was going to college at the time, and couldn't concentrate on my work! One of my teachers was also a grief-counselor and she really helped me alot. She gave me an exercise to do for the stress. That is to take who ever was I was upset over...an object of that person or thing and scream and cry to it. when I got home, I screamed up to God on why he took my dad away! Well all I have to say it worked! I started feeling good and the grief that I felt got less and less. The pains in my chest disappeared immediately I later begged God for forgiveness for screaming to Him!!
Grief is a normal feeling for loss...Also it helps to talk to a grief counselor. Just be there for your friend and don't get too upset at her for crying. It is not good too hold the grief and pain inside....to bring it forth is much better!! Just remember when are going through what she is going through, she will help you through it!!
Also don't forget that prayer to Jesus will help you and your friend out of life's tragedies! He has surely helped me!
God bless you and your friend!!
A
female
reader, blackrose1988 +, writes (2 May 2007):
 Just be there for her. Everyone greives in a different way and your friend looks as though she's concentrating on her studies right now because it's the way she feels she can cope with it.I lost a close family member just before my A-levels last year and the only way I could cope with it was to throw myself at my work. It was a long time before I could even talk to my close friends about how I felt, I became very withdrawn and skived off college quite a bit. Everyone grieves differently so just be patient with your friend.It's great that you're so concerned for your friend. The best way to help her is just to be there, don't try to interfere or anything, just keep an eye on her and make sure she's OK.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (2 May 2007):
 The previos post is correct. Grieving will take its time, be patient. Someone in that position is going to need and want to know there is someone else there who they can talk to or just hold and let it out.
I cant really say much more what has already been said, but just be there for her and be supportive in everyway you can.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (2 May 2007):
 Your friend is grieving and trying to come to terms with what happened. All you can do is be there for her. Try and talk to her out of school, tell her you can't imagine what she's going through but you are there to listen if she wants to talk. Ask her about the family member who's died. Usually people like to talk about the bereaved person, what were they like, were they fun to be with etc. and if possible then hold her and give her a hug.
It might be a good idea to tell her to get some grief counselling. There are "experts" out there who are excellent at talking to people who have lost loved ones and know exactly how to "treat" them for it.
Just be there for her, she will get over it, it just takes time.
Eve
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