A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:On Monday night I kicked my Fiance out after discovering she was seeing another guy behind my back. We've been together over two years and engaged for the last year.About a month ago she dropped a bombshell about sleeping with another guy when we first starting seeing each other. At the time she begged me to forgive her and I did, thinking that a lot of water had passed under the bridge since then. It now turns out that her and this new guy were seeing each other before she told me about the first episode...It now turns out that the new guy isn't interested now she is available and she wants to come back to me; I just don't know how I can trust her again after she has betrayed me - twice.I'm going through the classic relationship breakdown stuff, feeling painfully lonely, confused, angry. I'm even more worried about the long-term - I just don't know how I can trust anyone again. This was the woman I had planned to spend the rest of my life with, start a family with and all she can give me in return is betrayal.I'm seeing her tomorrow to tell her whether I want her back. I am utterly confused and any advice would be grealy appreciated.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): if you want my opinion I suggest you find someone else who will inspire so much love in you that you will feel utterly creative and exhilirated.
Try combining this new love with a quick trip to the mountains or somewhere where there is a beach and just enjoy each others love.
Dont dwell in the past and please maintain your dignity and self respect. Be civil and polite and just cut her loose man shes not worth it.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (2 May 2007):
 Realistically only you know what she is like and whether she is capable of change. Betraying you twice is a sign that she is'nt happy about something in the relationship, you need to find out what that is.
Trust is a fragile thing and she has to understand that things cant be back as they were if they can at all.
being engaged should be a large sign of commitment towards someone and she has shown she is not capable of commitment by seeing someone else. Maybe she needs to re-think her life and really think about what she wants and whether you are included in that.
Maybe give her some breathing space so she can really reflect on what she has done and the implications to any further relationship she has with you or anyone else. If you jump in too soon she will take that as an easy way and take you for granted again.
Tell her YOU need to give HER the time to decide what she wants and until she can prove her devotion and commitment to your relationship than it cant continue.
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