A
male
age
30-35,
*uperman23
writes:SO this is my story. I dated this girl 2 years ago ...now after a year and 10 months she was texting a guy behind my back i forgave her ...then again there was another guy that flirted wiht her on fb and she liked the post! now i dont like that and she knows it and we had alot of problems so we broke up! we were engaged and in love! well im almost 18 so it wasnt a real engagement just between us. Anyways 2 days later she has feelings for this kid that was flirting with her and she is hugging him! in 2 days!!!!! i cant beleive that like seriously ??then i was willing to be friends but when i saw her doing that i couldnt be a friend anymore it hurts so much ...SO i stopped talking to her but i was crying and in a big depression for a week so because of me knowing stuff like she went to see him and that she kissed him i got so hurt and hurt and i told her mean stuff ...but messages and we had arguments in school...Now today there was another guy flirting around with her and giving her a ride it killed me so i still told her some realy mean things in a text message. ITs been 3 weeks that we r broken up im still not over her even with all of this i still love her. I lost 15 pounds im doing bad in school (im a swimmer since 4 years old at a really high level a pro) and i stopped swimming! my life is screwed and she is all happy but im making her life miserable now ??thats what she told me... So today i thought mabe just having peace with her (not being friends just have peace) would make it better...so i kept sending her messages she wouldnt answer then she texts my best friend tells him she is scared of me and she doesnt wanna answer...at the end she answered my phone call. All i asked is for her to talk to me tomorrow at school so that we can have peace and so that i can open up and tell her how i feel and she said NO. Its killing me i went and prayed. But my life is dead like DEAD im not over her im not finding a way to be over her (she was my first love the girl i lost my virginity to the girl i wanted to marry) its really hard im crying every night im not getting any sleep im so hurt im burning i have no life anymore. What do i do ????????Thats all im asking you to tell me ur opinion and tell me what to do! what do i have to go to get over her ?or just what do i have to do to get my life back !?!?!? or just what do i do now !!!!!!:( :'( (and there is prom soon no one is available and im not that sexy and beautiful) like im dying here... please help
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best friend, broke up, engaged, flirt, lost my virginity, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, superman23 +, writes (26 March 2011):
superman23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionchirgirl IM SORRY but u do not help at all and just to tell u me and my gf both ddnt like the other teexting orr talking or flirting and we both agreed on it i ddnt contorl her i treated her like a queen and she knows it and i ddnt say it was cheating i said ti was wrong since we agreed on not doing it! if thats the definition for u to be in a relationship that is ur choice. Im not like that.. Please dont insult who I am.
As for rockshredder thank you very much ur everything i need.
A
male
reader, rockshredder  +, writes (26 March 2011):
 And yeah one thing more buddy!This is the link to my story if you want to get some courage and move on.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-going-to-be-ditched.html
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A
male
reader, rockshredder +, writes (26 March 2011):
Superman123!!! Now I am going to beg you to let her go man!!! Listen my name is Danial. I don't want to see another Danial get repeated. Man what you are wanting to do, I did it a lot of times. We had sex several times. EVEN THEN SHE DITCHED ME THE MOMENT SHE FOUND IT EASY.Please let her go. She is a cancer that will poison your life. Look what she is doing to you man. She is already kissing someone else right infront of you. She is no more yours. Accept it please. Or take my email id if you need further help. Message me using this website. I know it is hard. It has been hard for me too.
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A
male
reader, rockshredder +, writes (25 March 2011):
Just let her go. She has used you. What Shigirl has said, I disagree 90% with her.Only doing hardcore sex is cheating in your dictionary? Yes ma'am when you are in a relationship, you ARE responsible for taking care of your partner's feelings and not to hurt him/her? What is the need for more than one guy for a girl? Can you explain? You are just finding room to justify cheating. The pain this guy is going through right now is understandeable for me cause I am also going through the same. I am 22 and the girl I did EVERYTHING for from taking care of her diet to holding her books in the uni for 3 YEARS kept on cheating again and again and again and again. Flirting with guys on facebook, texting behind my back, etc etc etc. I moved to USA a month ago and bam!!! She broke up with me from Pakistan using the same Facebook infront of the world FOR NO REASON!!!Stop justifying cheating please.As for you my brother, please leave her today. You have lost half of what I did therefore make yourself stop TODAY. PLEASE. This girl is a cheater and she is just using you. I hope you do it. PLEASE.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 You are not ready for a serious relationship, you still have a lot of maturing left. I want to point out a few things that I hope you can realize you need to work on, and that perhaps will help you in future relationships. When you are in a relationship with someone you don't own them. You are with them, but you have no right to tell them what to do, with whom, or anything up those lines. You do not have a right to not like it if a guy flirts with her. If a guy flirts with her, she is the one who needs to deal with that, NOT you. She was texting a guy behind your back you said. The problem here is that a woman you date is not yours, so you do not have any right to know who she texts or what she texts. That is her personal business, and none of your concern. Of course sexting is on the edge, and most do not like that. But you establish trust in your relationship, talk about where the lines go for each one of you, and sort things out from there. Then you TRUST that whatever she texts anyone is cool. There is no "behind my back" in this case, as she is not required to report back to you, or anyone, whom she texts. To want reports on who she texts and what she texts is controlling behaviour. It must stop, or else all your relationships will fail. No one deserves to be with a controlling person. You must stop trying to control things. Next, you do not have control over who comments on her facebook. And she has a right to like or dislike whatever she wants on her facebook. It doesn't mean anything! And again, you do not have a right to get upset about it either, as it is none of your business. She is not your "thing", she is a person. She is allowed to like something on her facebook. Hugging another guy isn't cheating, not is it entering a new relationship, nor is it something she has done AGAINST YOU. It's a hug! Not hard core sex! You appear to have a problem distinguishing normal behaviour from radical behaviour. I am worried that you are unable to see this difference within yourself, and so you think that all others are the same. In your world a hug is more than a hug. But in the world of everyone else, a hug is nothing to make a big deal about. What is worrying me is that you make it out to be a big deal. So much that not only do you take offense to it, you also refuse to speak to her. My advice to you is that you talk to someone about this, an adult. You sound like your struggle with jealousy at a very high level, which is abnormal, and you also show signs of controlling behaviour, which will damage your relationships. This girl didn't do anything wrong as far as I can see, yet look at the effect it's had on you. You need to talk to someone adult about this. If you can't talk to anyone, please realize that this takes a lot of work from your part. These are problems you need to address and work on. Perhaps as you grow older you will have the maturity and wisdom to understand the differences between normal reaction and abnormal reaction. But for now you should not enter a relationship, but instead focus on working on yourself, getting back on schedule in school and with the swimming. Stop focusing on your ex girlfriend. That relationship is over, and there is nothing left to get from it. As it is, I think being friends with her will only bother you more, and possibly damage her. If she is afraid of you you really need to leave her alone.
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A
male
reader, superman23 +, writes (25 March 2011):
superman23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo today I saw her at school and told her I just wanna talk to you I won't scare you and she finally accepted she told me at lunch you have 10 minutes...- waited and waited and then at lunch I found out that she left with this guy that was flirting with her she was lkate to class I saw her coming in and I told her to tell me what's happening and she said she is seeing him and they already kissed so I kissed her because like that she cheated on him but I left school I have been crying and I'm not ok!!!!! Like really ??And btw I'm the same guy that wrote the question
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