A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:Please, help me understand what is going on with a situation involving my ex whom I have not spoken to since he left me 10 mths. ago and soon after became involved with someone else. We were together for 7 yrs. and engaged to be married when he ended it. Three mths. into their relationship he became engaged to her which totally devastated me. Although, I have not contacted him in all this time It has been quite a struggle to move past the betrayal and get on with my life. I still do love him but, I have long given up hope of getting him back. For the last several mths. his friends and family have told me continuously that he is not happy, that they all doubt their relationship will last and has admitted to his friend that he works with that he screwed up and lost his best friend(me). His friends have told me that he is drinking quite heavily and hits the bar before going home to her everynight which is something he rarely did when we were together. For the last 10 mths.he has also, been seen by myself and others driving by my house and has texted me a several times which I have ignored. As wrong as it may be, I have to admit that deep down inside I felt good knowing that things may not be so great for him since he left me.Now tonight I am in a state of confusion and feel like I had my heart ripped out all over again which I know I brought on myself. Like a fool I looked her up on fb for some reason which I have not done in several mths. and see that she has posted just yesterday several pics of them together acting all lovey dovey. I know that I should not care what they are up to and should not be looking her up on fb soI probably deserve this slap in the face. I cannot explain why I feel so hurt after seeing those pics but, most of all I am confused by what everyone has been telling me right along and the fact that he is still driving by my house and then to see those pics which paint a completely different picture. Am I possibly reading too much into those pics and if not, why then is he still coming around my place checking up on me, etc. I want to add that I live out of the way of where they live,his job and any other stores or main rds. so there is no reason for him to pass by my house other than to see what I am up to. I would appreciate any insight you might have on all his behavior.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2011):
 You feel hurt because you are not quite over him. And that is ok.
But the sooner you let go emotionally and mentally the sooner you can actually move on.
Yes, don't look at her FB and don't listen to his friends and their stories about him. Let them know that you don't need to know, don't want to know.
He may have regrets (and I'm sure he SHOULD have) but one thing is having regrets another thing is doing something about it. He is not, which in my book makes it seem like he might regret the break up, but not as much as his friends thing he should regret it. If that makes sense.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): The poster below has a point, the other girl posted those pictures to her facebook to prove a point that everything's alright. It might not be. But don't let that fool you. His relationship seems like it's on the rocks and it also seems like he's clinging to the next thing he knows best, which is you.But honestly, I don't think it's worth it. I wouldn't believe that he wants to come back to you unless he breaks up with that girl and tells you himself. Out of the blue. Don't go looking for him unless the does that. It seems like he wants to go back to the most familiar person besides the girl who he's with now. He might made a mistake dumping you, but he already made it when he chose that. And if you decide to go back with him, chances are those problems that he had with you will resurface.Those are my two cents.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 March 2011):
 she is posting the pictures, (which may have been taken ages ago) because she wants to spread the message that all is well in their relationship. When all is not well.If a person is really secure and at peace within themselves they don't need to remind others with, ''hey, hey look over here. SEE WE are doing OK.'' she is tryingto convince herself and the rest of the world, that they really happy. But they are not o k.Yes he is missing you.Classic lovesick guy - that he's going out of his way, just to catch a glimpse of his rDon't even consider him while he is with someone, anyone, but you.Feel free to tell him that when he is emotionally and physically ready for you that he might like to start with an apology, for the pain and suffering he put you throughThen take it slowly. If it works next time, then cherish the joy of it all.at least you will know you will be giving it a real chance to succeed this time.Best Wishes, Abella
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