A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I am a pretty inexperienced person when it comes to relationships, well, really inexperienced, and this girl is confusing me to no end.So, I finally met this girl I liked, we got hooked up by a bunch of friends, we were both sitting on the couch and we had our arms around each other, etc.Over the next couple weeks we got together a few times and I even stayed at her house for the night, nothing sexual, but we did sleep together. I mean, she was acting like we were in a relationship, we were holding hands, very close, she was playing with my hair and every little mushy thing you could think of, giggling, introduced me to her roomates the next morning, etc. One time at her house (the second or third time we hung out), we got drunk and I asked her into a relationship (Yeah, probably not the smartest thing). She said, not now, lets be friends with benefits, BUT we probably can a lil down the line. Not those exact words, but in a nutshell, basically. She said, for now lets keep this on the downlow. This was all before the holidays. After the third time I stayed with her, we dont talk that much, at work anyway. We work together, and we barely say more than "hey, how ya doing?" and waving. Just go about our business. And we have very conflicting schedules, she has never backed out on a date with me, but since the middle of december we have hung out together about twice, and outside of work we get drinks and laugh and talk for hours, but in work I feel like barely more than an aquaintence. The last time we hung out was a few days ago, we kissed at the end of the night, we both wanted to stay the night with each other but she had a birthday to go to (wasnt an excuse...i knew the person having a birthday). Shes a very busy with life kind of girl, likes time to herself, so I feel kinda like I'm intruding. We don't text that much, we keep it on the super DL, we hardly call each other, its hard to get times to hang out, we don't talk too much at work. But I really like her, I think she is awesome. She doesnt really hang out with many guys, she hasnt been in a relationship forever, but I get along with her great, outside of work anyway. Wehn we are hanging out she proposes date ideas like watching a movie, but they hardly happen because of us living our lives (I am pretty busy myself) and having conflicting work schedules. Then, since we hardly talk at work, its hard to plan there.I'm just confused. Is there potential for a future relatiopnship? Should I just keep truckin, we can still hang out and wait for her to be ready? Should I give up? Its weird. At least to me, being very inexperienced.Sorry for the long message
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (16 January 2010):
Most guys take what they can get. So I'm kind of surprised that there is one guy in the whole universe (you) who is thinking of backing out of an opportunity to have a sex only relationship with a girl who wants nothing more and is not demanding a committment. Well, if you can only sleep with someone you have a committed relationship with, you can still maintain the friendship and don't feel it is always essential to direct every single relationship you have with someone to a full blown romance. Maybe she will be one of your really good female friends in future that you just hang out with.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 January 2010):
If she wants nothing but sex, chances are it won't change. If you want more, you'd be better ending it now so you don't get hurt, and finding a woman who does want more than just sex. Don't wait around for someone to change, because that chances are they won't.
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