A
male
age
36-40,
*homas1111
writes:Hey, i really need help. I am very lost.My girlfriend wanted a break because we had a big fight. basically i bottled up anger about something that was bothering me about her and vented all out on her, threatening to break up. She broke down and cried and she said she wanted a break. She took a 4 day break and on christmas day, i gave her a present and hers is on the way (late). I apologized and i thought many things through and i told her that i will fix and not do this again to her. She said she still loves me and cares about me but she said she doesnt feel the same. She changed, she is willing to give me one more chance but she is afraid that the relationship wont be the same like before. I dont know if shes giving me a chance out of pity. She did cry a lot while i told her what im going to do and stuff. During silence, she cried because she worrying about how the relationship not going to be the same. What really hit me hard was that she said "im going to get a new haircut, something NEW, something cool looking. Not boring like mine." I dont know what to think after that. Is she really hoping to get with someone else? to see if it works? Out of pity giving me last chance? She just left to wash her face and go hang out with her guy friend(s) because they're alone. Their parents left them alone although im home alone too. She suggested that she would sleep over but its too early, she says she needs some more space. I dont know what to get out of this. I feel better but more lost at the same time. HELP!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): She feels like the relationship with you is never going to be the same, because you blew up at her and showed her a side of yourself she has never seen before. She is probably afraid it will happen again, and feels like she will have to walk on eggshells around you from now on. It's not fun for someone to blow up at you, especially if it was out of the blue. I doubt she wants to leave to start seeing someone else, but at this point I would say she's very unsure about you now. Let her go and work on this issue before you enter into another relationship.
A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (26 December 2009):
 Oh man! dude, this is the same exact thing ive been dealing with! only my chick had been infatuated with a dude she worked with, told me she wanted to work thing's out with me, we were doind good 3 weeks ago, when I got a twist in my gut, and checked the cell phone records, she had been talking to him every night for like 2 hours, I blew up, called her told her she fucked up big, and dumped her,I too have an anger issue, not really violent, I just have an unusually loud direct voice when I yell, but the next morning, I woke up and was thinking how stupid it was to blow up and dump her, without hearing her side, well long story short, she never got back with me again, Im still nausiated, going through the sleepless nights, eating a meal every 4 days, you no, the fun part, she aint budging, dude, as someone who could have made my own choice back in October, as i caught her with the guy, and chose not to dump her, you probably dont have it in you to do the right thing, but that yelling shit, takes it toll, and breaks them down, I would seriously consider letting her go, and working on your anger, because one more chance for me, was the last chance, and your going to yell again, let's not kid our selves, only next time i promise she will never come back, and you will do it to the next girl, and on and on, so Id advise some anger management, it turned me from a physically violent person, to just a little volital, if you take this chance, your practically breaking up with her now anyway, you might as well just fix your anger, ask her to support you, and ask if she will stay faithfull, but it really shouldnt matter. good luck brotha
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