A
female
age
41-50,
*ay2much
writes:Here’s my problemI started seeing this guy at work about a year ago. Nothing serious, we were just hanging out since I just broke up with my ex 2yrs bf. This new girl came working with me, I trained her. We were getting along pretty good, were having those superficial girl talk, she ask me if I was seeing someone, told her about the guy at work, blah blah blah.So she started hitting on him… Nothing quite obvious but I knew something was wrong. Since I was always with her and him and I were not official, I decided to let it slide and try to keep a good atmosphere at work; Thought I was probably wrong, that I was probably seeing things that were not there.My guy decided to take me to NYC for a week. That’s when he decided to confess that he slept with her… He said all the usual BS (I don’t want her, was just an easy girl, I’m not ready to commit so I’m being stupid…)Since we were not together I decided to wait and see how it goes and tried my best to keep my work relationship ok with her and I did a good job.He confessed later that it happened again after…I decided to let him go… It was too much for me to handle, especially the work part (with her).He didn’t wanna let me go and said he ended everything with her… I know you guys will think I’m an idiot but I thought I should give it a try. So we became official (meeting the family and all that official thing)She lost it, started yelling at him… And she started going out with one of his good friend here at work. Okay…That was 6months ago. Months ago, my now bf and I got engaged and moved in together, everything is fine between us except for her…Since he decided to be with me, all I’m hearing is her talking shit about me to the bosses here saying how incompetent I am, unfocused, not devoted to my work, etc.So because of that, last Monday, my boss changed me to a lower position…There’s no record of me being not good at what I do or anything else. Basically, that moving decision was only based on her opinion of my work (we’re only 2 in that department).I like to believe in Karma but shit this is driving me nuts!I filed up a psychological harassment email on her only because I can’t let someone try to ruin my professional reputation like that and I feel like I’m being taken for an idiot.I sent applications somewhere else already today…I’m freaking out, I feel like I’m back in high school, really…. I guess that’s jealousy but seriously WTF?!What should I do now?
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at work, broke up, engaged, jealous, moved in, my boss, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): **** I took him "back" because I felt I should try. I followed my instincts and I was right so far :)
I know It wasnt the best of starts but hey, at least he's honest :) and he did those shit at the begining. I think it would have been TOTALLY different if he would have done such thing after some time together :)
My decision to accept him in my life has been studied for a while before jumping into it and I believe him (has been hard but I got over my insecurities). My problem now is HER at work.
She indeed might try to get him but I doubt it since she's offifially with this other dude AT work and moving out with him BUT, knowing what kind of gurl she is, I guess it could happen. That will only make me see if I made the right decision with my fiancee :)
I just needed to get it out n bitch about it, lol
I would so get revenge, i thought of sooo many thing BUT, I wont do like her and sit on my bed at night thinking of ways to bring her down... :)
Nop,
I'm actually writing a book aboout that and I'll keep you guys updated,
:)
The main character is named Julie Clark,
:)
Thanks gurls xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): You seriously took him back and not only that but said yes to his proposal?? I mean, I understand that you guys weren't official or anything, but if he was really into you enough to believe your 'the one' they usually wouldn't risk that on some slut at work..you know? I think this is a bad decision all around, and I'd be grateful, her coming to your work is a blessing in disguise! My advice is to let him go, talk to your boss about how you believe you didn't deserve to be demoted based on another employee's decision, and that you haven't had a bad remark from anyone. She will prolly go after your (ex) boyfriend, but things will be better for you in the long haul. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): "A leopard doesn't change its spots"
Find out the last place(s) she has worked and talk to some of the people. Tell her you've talked to people, drop some names and some specifics. Then tell her you know "everything" about her. Tell her directly and clearly what you want her to do. Let her imagination fester. "There are things that go bump in the night. And we are the ones who bump back."
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 This is terrible! I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. This woman is manipulative, calculating, and vengeful!
First, I may be wrong, but I would imagine you would have to receive a reprimand before being demoted. Did you receive a reprimand? Also, did you contact Human Resources to let them know this woman was holding a personal grudge against you?
Second, is your fiancé looking for a new job too? I wouldn’t leave until he does. With you gone, this woman will see this as an opportunity to hone in on your man again. I understand you are unhappy at work, but don’t leave until he does. He has fallen victim to her temptation twice now… what will keep him from doing it again?
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