A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This could be sort of long.I met this girl in mid-December on a website. I had no intentions of ever getting anywhere with her. As the title suggests, we wound up in a long-distance relationship.After a little over three months, she decided to break up with me, with her excuse being, "I want to be able to just concentrate on my classes." I thought it was a pretty stupid excuse, told her so, and she agreed. I had asked if we were going to see anyone else - several times - and she said no. The following week, she went to the beach with just one of her friends, that was a girl. I believed her. While she was there, she hardly texted, and told me her phone was dying. A week later she went to the movies - she said she was, again, going with a friend, and I believed her. When she got back, she had told me she went with her friend Natalie. Being the creepy person I am, I looked up her friend's Facebook, looked at her wall, and SHE had gone to the mall, not to the movies.I knew she was lying, and pretty much just said, "Bye." to her. One of the first things she asked was, "Who told you?" I soon found out that when she went to the beach, she went with this guy, AND her friend. She claimed the whole day was awkward for her, and she felt like a third wheel, but a few days after the beach - I wasn't her friend on Facebook at the time - she had "in a relationship" with him and I didn't know it. This whole post is getting kind of disorganized. Anyways, she explained that all she did with him was hold hands and kiss - once - and she did both at the movie theater. She tells me now that she doesn't even talk to her friend that she went to the beach with, because she "pressured her" into dating the guy.This all happened just about a month ago now. Since, she's sent me two letters, a package which is currently on its way, cried several times on the phone, has randomly sent me a nude picture which she said made her extremely uncomfortable but she wanted to do "anything" to get me back, and she plans on fully paying for me to see her this summer.I really don't know what to do here.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 May 2011):
 OK it's an LDR but you've never MET?
and you have trust issues.
she sounds very needy.
you know what to do.
time to end it.
LDRS SUCK
LDRS when you haven't met are just friendships potentially becoming more
I'm in an LDR. we are 2 hours apart, adults (I'm 51 he's 37) and we have disposable income, free time, and cars. We see each other often (usually every weekend) and yet we still struggle with it being an LDR... LDRS are hard
my best advice to folks sadly is DON'T do it, not with someone you've not met, not when you are young, not when the distance is not easily drivable....
A
female
reader, LW  +, writes (4 May 2011):
Go on give her another chance! she seems like she was just trying her luck with two guys, I am guessing she is quite young..But anyways she obviouslly has some feelings for you so I'd give her another chance.Although I would make this a one chance deal.If she plays around again then it will be very easy for you to leave her the next time because then you know for sure she is just trying her hardest to game play really.But I would explain to her clearly that this is her one and only chance with you, so if you wrecks it that is her choice.Only get back with her though if you really can forgive her.There is nothing worse then being in a relationship where there is bitterness. So if you think about it and you can't get over it fully, just move on and tell her you need to focus on your studys ;)Hope I helped :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 May 2011):
I think you need to look at this realistically - you two live far apart and were in an LDR. If it wasn't working then, it won't work now because no matter what you won't be able to trust her. She simply lives too far away from you, and you can't really work this out. Also, she was lying to you pretty quickly.
Be realistic - you know who she is now. She's a liar. So get her out your life.
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