A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met my girlfriend in 1988. We had 2 children within a few years. It wasn't a very enjoyable relationship as she was never interested in anything including me. I was there for the kids. I started a small business and threw myself into that. Just over 5yrs ago I had an affair with her sister. Let's call her S. She was married altho not very happy. I had always got on extremely well with her, we had so much in common, enjoyed the same things etc and if it wasn't for her sometimes I would have went insane. It wasn't planned. She was working for me at the time and my girlfriend was not interested at all in anything, apart from spending money. I fought the feelings I had for 6 mths but eventually they got the better of me and I owned up to having feelings for her sister. I was actually head over heels in love. We ALL then went thru hell for the next 12 mths. I split with my gf, S split with her husband. During that year S and I did have sex, altho it was 4 ths after we 'came out'. This was not lust. Anyway long story, I finished it after a year, went back to my GF, S back to her husband. My relationship didn't work out (no surprise). I was still desperately in love with S. I have had nothing to do with S, no contact, nothing in the last 5yrs. Then out of the blue she calls. She has split from her husband, getting a divorce. She cannot go on living a lie with him, she is desperately in love with me. She constantly calls to tell me, writes letters, seems really genuine. It has blown me away. I am still in love with her, that never ended. My life the last 5yrs has been dreadful. Lost jobs, debts mounting, attempted suicide once. I just never had the enthusiasm for life without S in it. So now what do I do? She is still my ex's sister, altho they never spoke again. They have nothing to do with each other at all. What do I do? This woman is the one. My soulmate. The only one I have ever felt like this about. I haven't moved on at all since. I don't know anything but I do know I desperately love this woman and would do anything to be with her. So tell me please people have you any suggestions? Go with her, stay away, what?Thank you for helping me.
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affair, debt, divorce, money, my ex, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 If you are meant for each other , nothing will separate you two.If she can make you happy, then you should give her the chance .We only live once.
A
female
reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Follow your heart. You shouldn't be ashamed of love. So few people have it at all to waste it and lose it. Don't be afraid of what others think...they are not the ones in the relationship. You and S are.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (19 January 2008):
I think you have answered your question already.
You only have one chance of happiness and by the sound of it you have both been denying yourself a mutual happiness for many years.
In your shoes I would not hesitate, I would get back with her and make a good go of it. If it is too difficult around where you are then move. Move far enough away to be able to start afresh and make a new life for the both of you.
You want to do this - She wants to do this, you have both held back to make absolutely sure that this is the right decision and it has come back right and is now staring you right in the face.
GET IN THERE AND BE HAPPY - YOU DESERVE IT AND SO DOES SHE.
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