A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:please help,I have been seeing my girlfriend for only of months.we have wonderful weekends together,but when she is at her house,she likes to use Facebook.I don`t use it at all.so when i try to talk to her she either ignores me or takes a long time to reply,which in turn makes me feel like something is wrong and I start doing stupid things ,which annoys her and she then gets angry and ignores me even more.the other day i waited for her outside her work,which i know was stupid,but i needed to talk to her,but she refused to talk and is now even more angry with me.what can i do to resolve this problem. i really do love her and need this relationship to work
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 November 2013):
 I am with Honeypie. You have been dating a couple of months. That’s not a long period of time. Yet you profess to really love her and even with red flags from the beginning you NEED (your word) this relationship to work. What is with the NEED… why not WANT… are you unable to be alone for some reason? Are you trying to force a relationship where none really is?
It is rude if you are together for her to get online and ignore you. But you said you spend wonderful weekends together so is this DURING the week when she is at her home and you are at yours and she takes “too long” to reply to your requests? Is it possible you are being TOO demanding of her time when you are not with her or is she doing this when you are TOGETHER?
Maybe she’s ignoring you or taking her time because you are NOT listening
My concern is that YOU are not OWNING your behavior.. rather you BLAME her for your bad behavior.. this is not good. If you don’t own that your behavior is your choice, then you have no hope of making this work.
You went to her place of work and waited to to talk to her… what could not wait till she got home and you spoke to her later that night? IF she’s refusing to talk to you and the ONLY way you can speak to her is to wait for her outside of work, perhaps she believes the relationship is over and you are NOT listening to her?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 November 2013):
 You know putting the blame on her for you DOING stupid things, might be a reason why she is backing off. IT IS NOT her fault you are being clingy or acting needy.
If you are visiting and she gets on FB, then say hey do you want me to stay and we can talk or do you want me to leave so you can do your FB thing.
IT IS rude of her to get on her FB while you are visiting, my guess is she does it to make you go away.
The relationship sounds kind of messed up. It's only been few months maybe it's time to part way and find someone who actually wants to spend time with you?
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (29 November 2013):
 Leave her to cool down for a bit, you’ve acted like a love sick puppy… Nice to know that love can still make some of us do stupid things at [51-59], but don’t come across too needy when it’s only been ( ? ) months…
It’s not only stupid as you say, but its also bizarre behaviour to wait for her outside her work and you needing this relationship to work, so just be forewarned this could freak some people out of their wits!?
You don't want to be accused of stalking the poor girl now, do you?
Cheers – CAA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): If you really do love her, then leave her alone for a while.
I'm pretty sure her ill feelings for you will subside if she wont see or hear from you for a couple of days.
You know very well why she is totally ignoring you, you mentioned you've done annoying things. I can just imagine what annoying things that could be. Enough for her to decide stop talking to you.
If you love her then try to be more understanding. When you have a chance try to explain your side in the most calm kind way.
If she will really not talk or wont give you a chance, I say look for another gf. She really don't care for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): It would upset me if someone I was seeing/talking to just showed up at my work. With my schedule, my lunch breaks and the ride home are my own private space/times alone. I would feel the guy was stalkerish and controlling. With the facebook thing, that is pretty rude to do when you have someone over precisely BECAUSE it causes the guest to be ignored. Maybe you can start a facebook account and friend her. See her reaction. If she's pissed or annoyed, that means she's hiding something. it sounds like unless there's a real emergency, she shouldn't be online at all when you're over. You're right to try to talk to her, but it sounds like she doesn't want to. She really just sounds selfish and the only thing I agree with on her is being up set that you showed up at her work unexpectedly.
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