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female
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anonymous
writes: ok, i'm completely lost as to what to do or think. i met one of my current best friends back about 7 months ago. i introduced myself to her because i could tell she liked me, and i was very interested in her, too. but it initially took me a while to gather up enough confidence to finally go talk to her. turns out that by the time i did, she had already just begun dating someone else. but she admitted that she'd pretty much liked me forever up until that point and she couldn't believe i was interested in her. i was her 'unattainable crush' in her eyes. anyway, we decided that we'd work on just being friends since she was already in a relationship in which her partner had just broken off a three year relationship to be with her. so we hung out, and tried really hard to be 'normal' friends, which was so difficult because i liked her so much, and i wasn't sure if she still liked me. and i also made the mistake of deciding to live with her, which makes matters ten times worse.well about a month ago, we were hanging out, and she tells me that she thinks she wants to be with me and leave her partner. that recently it had gotten really hard for her to stop thinking of me, and that all she wanted me to do was kiss her. and rather than just jumping on that initially, we discussed our feelings more because i never wanted her to regret what happened between us, and i wanted to make sure that i was what she wanted. we recapped everything from the past 6 months while we'd been hanging out, and she admitted all the times that she'd been so close to just grabbing me and kissing me but hadn't. well, we wound up hooking up that night, and spent the rest of the weekend pretty much behaving like a couple. it was great, until she came home and told me that she had decided to go back to her current partner and that her and i were a mistake. i was crushed. but i tried really hard to pull myself together, not be hurt, and just stay friends, which we did. but now, we still flirt pretty hard, which is so confusing. because if i were a mistake to her, shouldn't she stop flirting with me? we push and shove, and just drop little flirtatious hints here and there. and she tells me that she can't imagine her life without me. she even wants us to move in together when we graduate here soon. i suppose it's possible that she doesn't still have an interest in me, but i don't know. does this sound like she likes me? how should i proceed with this?
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female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 She is being very unfair in you. She knows that you like her and is enjoying the attention, she knows that she can click her finger and you will come running. Don't fall for it hunny. Show her that you don't care anymore and that you can easily move on. She will realise that you are no push over and your new attitude torward her might make her realise that she does actually want to be with you.
A
male
reader, danno75420 +, writes (24 August 2006):
Sounds to me like she's VERY confused. Obviously you mean a lot to her, otherwise she wouldn't want to maintain ANY sort of relationship. I had a similar situation with a girl at one point. I basicaly chalked it up to her...keeping me around as a "backup". I don't know if that's the case here, but keeping you interested by constantly flirting with you sure sounds like she want's to have you around, just in case. If you can, push her away a bit. If she REALLY wants you, she'll try to pull back. Push/pull theory...
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A
female
reader, layla +, writes (24 August 2006):
 well that must be realy confusing for you. I think shes fancies you and she seems to want attention but rather it come from you. she also likes her boyfriend and has chose him over you. if you do choose to proceed with her then on her side some poeple may get hurt.have a think if you do go with her then how would you know that she may choose some one over you agian. I say leave it a while and talk to her and ask what she wants then tell her what you want.
Gd luck xxx
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