A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here's my dilemma: This girl and I agreed to get to know each other before we jump into a relationship. She had just gotten out of one when we had told each other that we really liked each other and we shared a kiss and affection (but we didn't go all the way). For 3 months we would constantly see each other, go on dates, talk for hours over the phone...I even met her family (but she did introduce me as a friend). I even got involved in helping some of her family members out (nothing to do with money, though). I thought things were going very well until for about more than a week she has stopped calling, texting, or any other form of communication. I know she is a very busy person but that didn't stop her before. There was one time that she did sort of do the same thing, but this time we haven't talked or anything for a week. I tried calling and texting and she hasn't returned anything. Our mutual friends (they are her best friends) have told me that she hasn't said anything to them and that she has been busy and probably hasn't had time to respond. I know that if there was something, those friends would tell me...they have before. I'm a grown man and I've been through heartbreak before but I'm here to see what advice is out there. My female friends say to just be patient but to not try to communicate with her. My guy friends say to move on. I obviously worry that maybe there is another guy or that her ex has come back (which would baffle me because she said that her and I have done so much more in a small amount of time than she has with him for the long length they have been together). Anyway, I just want to see what people out there have to say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey there Scottsterrier!
Well, as you can see, this all happened more than a year ago. We ended up seeing each other again since we have mutual friends and she acted like she was trying to ignore me but kept on staring at me. That had happened about 2 weeks after I wrote all of this. That was the last time I saw her. I felt some heartache for about 2 weeks, then I felt like myself again and didn't look back.
I still talk to those mutual friends we have and they said that she actually went through some extremely bad things with her family shortly after her and I stopped talking. I still didn't communicate with her but I did feel sorry for what had happened. I think the incident with her family is why she has a bad attitude about many things nowadays (according to my friends). In any case, we're both still single but I, for sure, have moved in. :-)
A
male
reader, Scottsterrier  +, writes (6 April 2011):
What happened with this? I am going through similar? It sucks
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 February 2010):
That has the word 'rebound' written all over it. Your male friends are right I think. She has used you to get over the pain of her ex. Either she has no more pain or she has gone back to the ex. Listen to your male friends and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the reply. It was pretty insightful. I was focusing so much on the potential that I forget about the rebound effect. Our mutual friends (they really are good friends of mine as well) have always told me to be patient with her because she can be very emotionally confused at times but she is (and I have truly seen) a great person. I think I will continue to not respond...I haven't slowed down my life but it is hurting me emotionally. People still respond though! Please! I love to hear opinions.
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