A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not even really sure where to begin on this one. Basically, I am an older woman still interested in my much younger exboyfriend. We dated for 7 months and he left me over 2 years ago. The break up was bad, but he is a nice enough guy to show that he still cares about me by text messaging me every 8 weeks or so and by remembering my birthday. I don't often initiate the texts, it's usually him. He used to call me in the middle of the night sometimes and not answer (I am almost 100% postive it was him) The calls lasted for almost one year, then stopped. Then he began texting about once every 8 weeks or so.Anyway, my friends say he is only texting me out of curiosity to see how I am and because he's a "nice guy". They say if he REALLY wanted me, he'd let me know. Well the trouble is, I really want him, and I don't want to let him know because I'm afraid it will scare him away and make him run in the opposite direction. Eventhough I know he doesn't want me back, I just can't understand why he still contacts me out of the blue to tell me that a good TV show is on etc... He is popular and has a lot of ways of meeting girls, he might or might not be with someone, but I know he has no trouble meeting girls or getting dates. I am not sure why he wants to say hello other than to "be nice". But then I read that after a certain amount of time he should have even stopped that if he moved on 100%. I can't ever get him off my mind or out of my head and I wish he felt the same. I have no choice but to sit idlely by and let others have him because I've been advised to just stay away. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, OuToFtHeAsHeS89 +, writes (5 February 2010):
Well, he could be just "being nice".. or he could still have some residual feelings for you. If you need some closure ask him whats been going on in his life. has he been seeing anyone...etc. Finding out may answer your questions.
Me personally Im friends with most of my ex's. So there is a chance hes trying to maintain a friendship with you.
keep this in mind... if he liked you enough to have a relationship with you... y wouldnt he want to be friends.
just food for thought
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (5 February 2010):
I have to agree with your friends. Sounds to me like he's just being a friend. If you hear from him every 2 months that means you hear from him about 6-times a year. If he wanted you, you'd probably hear from him a lot more than that. He may still care about you in a friendly way, but I don't think it means that he's still in love with you or pining over you and thinking about how he is secretly in love with you and it's his tactic to get you back. I think you should let it go, it's been 2-years since you two broke up (and no you're not an older woman like you stated). When you hear from him, just ignore him. When he comes back into your life it gets the wheels turning in your brain and it's delaying your process of moving on. Be strong and don't let him control you like that.
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