A
male
age
36-40,
*ovehersobad
writes:Hi,I am a male 24 y.o a graduate student study abroad. When I study abroad, I met this angel, she is the most beautiful girl I ever seen, and I love her so bad (we came from the same country, btw). The problem is that she already have a boyfriend back in our home country, 7 to 8 years old relationship, all things go well, both parents know and already agree.Nevertheless, I love her so bad, and try to chase her, and take her heart little by little, day by day, and God knows that she also happy with me. After 3 months of chasing, she said that she loves me. I was really happy, and all things going well for me and her, until 4 months after that.I start to become egoist, and make her cry a lot of times. I force to understand me but don't want to understand her. We both cry so many times. But I know I love her so much. It alls my mistake for being egoist.In the mean time, she already finish her study and will be back to our country for good (I accompany her back for 1 month). When I go back, she cried and miss me so bad. I miss her too, and I realize how foolish I am to make her cry. After 1 month I go back abroad, she tells me that recently she had a huge fight with her Ex, and ask for a break because she cannot give attention to our relationship. However, after the huge fight, suddenly her Ex tell her parents that he will propose her.She told me to stop loving her, and go find another girl, she said that we still can be friend. I told her that I can't I love her so much. and I feel that deep down in her heart she's happy when she's with me. We had a lot of fight this week, because I feel that I still love her, and that she deserves to be happy, not just see her parents happy.She said that I am stubborn, and dont understand. How can, I am in love with her, and she miss me. And I feel that she's not happy with the engagement. It's just because her parents like her ex so much, and she want to see her parents happy. She doesn't sounds happy when told me about the engagement, and afraid that I got hurt.I don't know what to do now. I love her so bad, and she kept telling me to go look for another girl. I also feel that she miss me too. What should I do? Stop loving her, I cannot.
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a break, engaged, her ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011): She has made it fairly clear that you should move on and find someone else. It helps a lot if you break contact with her, since it will help you forget about her and will ease you suffering. It will also give her peace of mind and save her suffering as well since you said contact with you makes her emotional and leads to fights. I say, walk away and let yourself heal, and let her do the same. Look back on your time together as a fond memory, you are still young and will find someone else.That is my piece of unbiased advice for you.In my own opinion, I think that you were wrong and deserve no better. You have, effectively and in this order:1.) Stolen someone from, and thus almost ruined, a long term committed relationship by taking advantage of geographical distance.2.) Mistreated this person after she gave up a significant other who was good to her for 8 years. Just for you.3.) After she realized her mistake, continued to contact her and force her to remember, as well as try to have her make it again.You have no sympathy from me.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 I think she never broke up with her fiance - she just used you while being away from him...
Good luck with the rice & mice.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Do mice really love rice?
Ok. I want to ask what country you are from.
And ... if you were horrible to her and made her cry a lot, that is why she is going to marry her ex - because he loves her and doesn't make her cry.
She might have a passionate relationship with you, but it sounds very emotional, and not really that good for her.
I think that if you want the best for her, you should let her be with a nice guy who won't make her cry. And from your description, that isn't you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
 "a bird can love a fish where would they live?"
see I can quote silly things too.
She is NOT yours.
it does not matter why she does what she does.. if making her parents happy is important to her, then so be it.
IF you can't see that you wanting her and hassling her about it stresses her out and makes it worse for you and that you are being selfish then what can we do to help you?
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A
male
reader, lovehersobad +, writes (21 November 2011):
lovehersobad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbtw,
I want to say that it is impossible for me to left her.
A girl like this? I never met, and if I left her, than the next will only be just substitute.
This one? Even is she already married, I will always love her.
Mouse love rice, I love her. Lungs need air, I need her.
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A
male
reader, lovehersobad +, writes (21 November 2011):
lovehersobad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat would you do?
If you are in my position, and feels that she's happier when with me?
That she just accept the engagement because of her parents?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
she is with her "ex" and she has told you to find someone else...
"what should I do?" you ask.... you can love her but you must keep it to yourself and move on and leave her alone.
to chase after her is to disrespect her wishes.
when you love someone you want THEM happy even if it means you are UNHAPPY...
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A
male
reader, lovehersobad +, writes (21 November 2011):
lovehersobad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGAME OVER and MOVE ON have any meaning to you?
I can',
If she is engaged to someone who she is willing to, who makes her forget about me and she loves so bad.
Yes it is.
But someone she just accustomed to, or used to, and she approve it maybe because of her parents like him?
I can't! she deserve to be happy. It's just she always thinking about other people than her happiness.
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A
male
reader, HiGPS  +, writes (21 November 2011):
She left you and is engaged to her ex.
Does the word GAME OVER and MOVE ON have any meaning to you?
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A
female
reader, mammaboo +, writes (21 November 2011):
 love can be so painful. You sound so in love with her.She has stolen your heart but you need to get it back. She loves you to be chasing her in this way and she loves the drama and so do you.I wonder if you have no other person involved and you get it together would you be so happy!You are both so full of passion for the need of what you are making so difficult to have,and it sounds like the difficulty makes all the more passionate.
I feel like you should be singing to her from outside her bedroom window and climbing up the drainpipe to plant the everlasting passionate kiss!!
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A
male
reader, lovehersobad +, writes (21 November 2011):
lovehersobad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI believe she deserve someone who can make her happy. If it is not me than it is okay, but of course someone who when propose her, she will cry tear of joy.
Not just someone liked by her parents. I don't know what to say, I do afraid of losing her. But I also want her to get someone who can make her smile everyday.
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