A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years.We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has really helped me through difficult times again. I want to send her flowers partially to say thank you and also to make her feel special. With valentines coming up I thought of sending the flowers then but I am in two minds (and before anyone asks, she is not seeing anyone I checked).
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 February 2017):
 Yes, tell her . At once. Maybe she is upset because she is scared s..tless.
The world has changed and not always for the best. 40 years ago if I had received an anonymous gift of flowers , probably I would have said " Oh ! A secret admirer ! How romantic ! How charming ! "
If it should happen today, it would unnerve me. There's a lot of weirdos around and a lot of stalking going on, and the idea that there's someone out there that has ideas and wishes about me ; ideas and wishes of what exactly is not known,- and he obviously knows where I live, or where I work, and how to reach me, while I have no idea who he is.... urgh. It 's creepy.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 February 2017):
 If your intent was romantic in nature why didn't you put your name on them? I don't understand your thought processes ... was she supposed to realise immediately they were from YOU and fall into your arms or what?
Tell her NOW that you were the person responsible, and she can decide if the romantic feelings are reciprocated or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2017): Why didn't you sign the card and indicate on the card that it was sent in gratitude???!!!
Never-ever send a lady anything without identifying yourself.
Of course she's upset, having no clue who sent something to her home without telling her who they're from.
Tell her who they're from immediately! Even if she is still upset, it won't be out of fear!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 February 2017):
 You sent them anonymously? Why?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe received the flowers, but I think it has upset her, now I don't want to tell her it was me who sent them in case it ends our friendship. Thanks to everyone for their advice and support.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 January 2017):
 Send her the flowers and then let us know how you get on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2017): It does matter what your intentions are. If you have feelings for her, then be sure to follow-up with the words to let her know. Also be prepared for the reaction you receive, just in-case she's doesn't feel the same. You have a good heart all the same. If she has taken care of you all these years, let's hope there is something there for you.
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A
female
reader, Nittynora +, writes (24 January 2017):
 Oh for goodness sake, people really do think too much these days. just send her the flowers, she knows you and the difficult times you have had. Why should she take it the wrong way. Just send em.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for the advice, as for people questioning the intent, there's nothing subtle about it. I have had romantic feelings for her for a very long time hence wanting to make her feel special.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2017): Valentines Day is a romantic Holiday. If you have no romantic-intention, send the flowers as soon as possible.
I want to be honest with you. I think this is another subtle suggestion that you have secret attraction for the lady; and I really don't think gratitude and infatuation are a good mix.
Please be clear with your intentions so as not to send the wrong signals. I know it was a good idea to check if she's single to be sure you don't offend a husband or a boyfriend. Just don't confuse her by making it look like you have a secret crush, if that isn't the case.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (24 January 2017):
What are you wanting here? If you want to say "thankyou" then send the flowers now ....
If you want to say "I am romantically interested in your" then send flowers on Valentines Day, however, please be aware that if she is NOT romatically interested, regardless if she has a boyfriend or not, and you send flowers on Valentines Day that could cause awkwardness for her, and depending where you have them sent, to home or a work address, she could come in for a hell of a lot of teasing. I suggest you try and determine if flowers on Valentines Day will be received in the spirit in which they are sent or not.
If you want to play it safe and see how the flowers, and your gesture, are received, send the flowers now.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 January 2017):
 Sending flowers on Valentines day says, "I'm romantically interested in you." That is how she will see in no matter your intention.
If you want to say "thank you for being a great friend, and being there for me. Send a thank you card and get it in the mail this month.
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A
female
reader, AskCatherine  +, writes (23 January 2017):
I hope everything is getting a little bit better for you and im glad she has been there for you through the hard times.
The flowers though, what message are you trying to give? Are you just offering a thank you? Or are you trying to show you may want more, than to be just friends?
I think flowers are a more difficult item to send to someone, as it could mean more than what you intend. Think carefully.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (23 January 2017):
I totally agree with HoneyPie - decide whether this is a romantic gesture or a genuine thank-you before you send anything. The two don't really combine well.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 January 2017):
 Either you want to send flowers as a Thank You or.... as a romantic gesture for Valentine's Day.
So decide which it is and go for it. But don't "combine" the two things. Saying thank you with flowers is NOT necessarily a romantic gesture, and sending flowers for Valentine's IS NOT a way to say thanks.
So WHETHER she is seeing someone or not is kind of irrelevant IF you "just" want to say Thank You.
If you hope for a return of affections or romantic interest it DOES matter if she is single or not.
So figure out YOUR motivation for wanting to do this. THE real reason....
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (23 January 2017):
 It sounds like youre interested in her. Just ask her out! Sending flowers is already very romantic and she will assume you like her already. So instead of being so subtle, just ask her out. Her response will let you know how she feels for you. If you have no romantic feelings for her, DO NOT send flowers. Give her a platonic card stating her advice has helped you a lot and that you wish her best in 2017. Good luck
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