A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend met another guy and split up with me after we both got into a depression when our baby girls were born prematurely and died. She lacked affection and apparently found the perfect fairy tale guy to give her everything she needs. I have stopped every contact with her so we both can get on with our lives, while she goes on holiday every two months to see this guy. Every time she comes back she contacts me like crazy and wants me to comfort her. My future plans are to get away from all this completely while her idea to get on with her life is to have a baby with this guy and also spend as much time with me as possible. I think she needs serious help but is it me who has to help her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): she is with this other man so please tell her kindly that she needs to leave you alone. she is sick coming back to you with news of him and her. she needs help but not from you. you too suffered a loss when the baby died, who is comforting you. you need to heal and can only do this by having no contact with this woman who is actually using you and compounding your loss. so please end it once and for all. your ex is actually cruel to keep coming back to plunge the knife deeper into you. move on and do not accept her calls. please do it now!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 January 2010):
You are right, she does need help. Clearly she is very disturbed about the death of your babies. I think next time she contacts you, you need to have a serious talk about what it is she expects from you now that you are apart. You need to explain that although you understand she is in pain, you and her are no longer together and you both need to move on.
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